Alright Windows, Multitouch, World, Let's Have a Talk.

All right, I've had it.

I'm done. I am DONE putting up with this!

WHAT THE CRAP IS UP WITH MULTITOUCH??

it's like we're in the effing stone age here! I've spent ALL MORNING researching touchscreen/multitouch laptops and tablets, and for the LIFE of me and cannot figure out what the H it is that people don't understand!! why does a multitouch pc tablet A) suck more than any other piece of technology ever invented...which leads the next point: B) DOESN'T REALLY EXIST.

I don't really know where to start but let's just start here. this is a joke; it has to be a joke. I couldn't imagine a less responsive screen. it doesn't have an accellerometer either, but don't worry, it has a button to switch into landscape mode! oh, but don't count on it taking less than an hour to reposition. hey, is that the turkey burning while you were waiting for landscape mode? gimme a break, this is absurd.

the iPad is cool but it's not a computer, it's a consumption device. on an iPad you can watch videos, look at pictures, surf the web, get information, read books, whatever. it's great for carrying around and showing it off and it's kinda neat. however, want to write a blog? that essay you gotta get done at the last minute? don't forget your keyboard! don't plan on creating anything or doing anything productive on an iPad. it's a neat gadget but it's not a computer.

I need an EFFING COMPUTER WITH TOUCHSCREEN. here's the deal. this is what I don't understand ISN'T available right now for the normal person:

a PC computer with a swivel screen that uses multitouch.

Dell has one now called the XT2, and it's the first step in a halfway decent direction. but it's mainly for businesses, and it still looks kind of slow in terms of responsiveness. the iPad is super responsive, and that exists today, so what's the deal Dell? what's the deal, HP? another reason that HP has no clue what's going on.

what the hell is that thing anyway? and since when has HP ever delivered something on time? and that actually works? two thumbs DOWN.

when am I going to get a windows pc in which 95% of the programs are multi-touch compatible, responsive, creative, and USEFUL (I'm looking at you, iPad)?? I'm talking about programs you can write on where your writing doesn't come out looking like a picasso painting, like audio mixers that you can manipulate with two hands at once (windows 7 supposedly has support for 10 unique contact points for multitouch, why the crap doesn't anybody have the balls to make a computer that utilizes that??), like presentations and desktop manipulation and ALL THESE THINGS I DON'T HAVE YET!!! if somebody doesn't start doing this soon, I'm going to do it, and I'm going to get rich and steve and bill and all those other rich-types will bow to me! we need a tablet-pc/laptop with multitouch for the average NON-BUSINESS consumer! iPad is distracting everyone with its pretty screen and movies and it's good at that but it's not for universal use. I need a photo editor with multitouch. I need a video editor with multitouch. all this crap!!

I'm going crazy here!!

The Safehouse

AND IN THE END, THERE WAS NOTHING. ONLY EMPTINESS.

*cue Terminator music*
Shiloh exists now only in our memories. You can't look back. Whenever you look back all you get is pain. So you've got to channel the pain. make it work for you. if you're gonna survive out here in the wasteland, all you can do is...try to survive.

We thought the worst was over when the bombs hit...but that was only the beginning. We couldn't have imagined what came after. Have you ever heard of Nuclear Rain? ...well it's no picnic. at least, not the kinda picnic I'm used to. I saw things you've never even dreamed of. Not in your worst nightmares. You want to talk about survival in the wasteland? well get in line. I've got bigger things to do that worry about your problems. I've got my own problems. Like, how am I supposed to make sure humanity's gonna last another three months? You know what's at stake here, so GET OUT OF MY WAY AND STAY OUT if you know what's good for you.
Me and two other of the survivors heard about a safehouse, somewhere near what's left of old town Alexandria. We leave tonight. If you don't hear from us again...




...it's 'cause we didn't make it.
Nathan Mitchell
Date: D+31 since everything that we knew was taken away

Succeeding in the Wilderness of the Future, Part Deux

Oh I see. I see what's going on.

You think you're safe. You think you're happy. You've got everything figured out. You're sitting at home in a comfy chair with your little laptop, the quiet whirring of the computer's fan pacifying the stress of the day. You're at the desk in your home office, the dog, Tulip, lapping water out of her bowl in the living room the only sound in an empty house. You're reading The Wall Street Journal in the study, staying current on stock futures and how great your investments are doing. You have a job and a wife and kids, and you know that it's going to rain tomorrow, so it's best to be prepared by putting an umbrella next to the door tonight so you won't forget it in the morning. It's so peaceful, isn't it? Maybe you open the door to the kids room before you go to sleep, just to check on them, knowing they are safe in their beds and the goldfish are swimming around in the tank you got so little Timmy can have a friend. Maybe as you kiss your loyal wife goodnight you whisper a faint "I love you" in her ear, even if she's already asleep. you pull the covers over your head and you sleep soundly; the deep sleep that comes from a good hard day at work and a good hot meal at home. Don't worry...you've got everything in it's right place.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENS:
WORLD WAR THREE.

EVERYTHING IS GONE. THE WIFE, THE KIDS, THE REFRIGERATOR. You want to know where your little dog Tulip is? You want to know where timmy's goldfish are? THIRTY MILES SOUTHWEST OF YOUR POSITION. DEAD.

That's what happens to you when you think everything's going your way and everything's gonna be a-OK. quit your job and start preparing!!! You know what shiloh's doing? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? well get ready for this butt-kicking:

1) Sherwin signed a lease for a new place ALREADY
2) Nathan + Nate may have just found our dream house
3) Jon's got a fiancee so who cares
4) SO BOOYAH!

you are so naive. mister two and a half children. mister cookie-cutter. mister go with the flow. mister advertising specialist. get over yourself.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN NORTH KOREA SHINES A NUKE LASER ONTO YOUR ROOF AND BLASTS YOUR TROPHY WIFE INTO A MILLION PIECES?? YOU AND YA FRIENDS AH DEAD!

Succeeding in the Wilderness of the Future

Faced with the prospect of the apocalypse occurring in only 24 days, I have no choice but to update everyone on

1) How to Survive in the World, and
2) What Shiloh is Doing to Prepare:

first things first. How do you survive in the world? You survive by BEING PREPARED. Some practical ways you can be prepared is by making sure you have enough gas in your post-apocalyptic super-go-kart/skiff/jet/rocket plane/apollo spacecraft/car w/spikes for wheels. It's important that you have enough gas because gas is already a commodity, and when the world ends it's going to be the last thing people are fighting over. It's gonna be like gold so make sure you're gassed up and ready to roll and/or joust depending on the scenario. you don't want to hit the gas in a post-apocalyptic jousting match and have nothing happen. talk about losing street cred. get with it man!

another practical way you can be prepared is by making sure you choose the correct post-apocalyptic weapon. You don't, for example, necessarily want to choose a rocket launcher for your post-apocalyptic weapon because how many rockets are you really going to find once the nuclear dust settles? one? two? doubt it. if you're going to choose the rocket launcher be sure to collect enough rockets beforehand or you'll be stuck lugging around some dusty old hunk of metal for the rest of your life, and we already talked about gas...how are you gonna account for the extra weight in your super-go-kart? it's a waste. think about a sword or axe or something that doesn't need any extras. if zombies start turning up you'll be happy you don't have to scrounge for ammunition. A zombie hatchet, for instance, would work great in this type of future-scenario.

finally, another great way to be prepared is to horde food and water in a small, ultra-secret bomb shelter/hideout. the warped wooden shelves will hold a small assortment of nonperishable canned food and maybe a nailgun if you're lucky enough to have one of those. a small pistol, some cash, and maybe some gold rings in a safe in the corner is also a nice touch. tattered pre-apocalyptic movie posters sparsely decorate the walls. long after the bombs drop you know you are the bearer of the only key to your personal fallout shelter, where you can live safely with that special post-apocalyptic-someone for a solid six months to a year while the battle for oil, land, weapons, and just about everything else rages a few cubic feet of dirt above you.

BE PREPARED!

which brings us to our next and final question: "what are the residents of shiloh doing to prepare for the coming housing jumble/nuclear holocaust??" And the answer is that aside from Nate and Sherwin looking sporadically for houses on craigslist, we've done just about nothing to get ready for our epic move. no gas, no weapons (although I might try to steal the zombie hatchet from the laundry room at the last minute) no nothing. well actually that's not true, I did take the Death Star in to see what was wrong with it...

...but that thing wouldn't last five minutes in the post apocalyptic world...at least...not until I put SPIKED WHEELS OF DOOM on the hubcaps!!

...but seriously, Shiloh is not prepared to move at all.

-MCMC

We meet our hero as he stands on the precipice. His footing is weak.

We travel backwards to only moments ago where our hero rides into his enemies lands with determination and courage in his eyes. The brilliant gleam of victory lay on the horizon of the sunset sky. When suddenly he hears a crack like the trunks of a thousand trees bursting and falling to the ground. A great chasm opens in the ground in front of him, spewing steam and earth and fire upwards into the red sky. His stallion rears, knocking him off, and the poor beast tumbles into the void. Our hero slams into the earth, which quickly crumbles under him, he grasps hurriedly for solid ground but the dirt continues to give away. Our hero, who only moments ago beamed with strength and valor, now scurries like a helpless mouse. The earth cracks more and more; the sound like that of shattering bone. The courage in his eyes lost, replaced with fear, the fear of death.

Reach! Keep reaching! You can't die! You're going to die. NO! This is it. Everything is lost. What's this? This patch feels solid. Reach! Yes. The ground isn't breaking. This is it. On your feet. ON YOUR FEET!

We arrive again at our hero on the edge. He gazes into the blackness below. There appears to be no end. What must our hero do? Something shimmers in the corner of his eye. Where did that come from? He looks to the horizon, now shrouded by dust and smoke, and he sees it again. Glimmering beyond the dust and smoke, still on the horizon, is our hero's goal. His victory still lies ahead. He hears a whinny come from the hole. His horse...still alive? The stallion whinnies again, the sound is faint but unmistakable. There must be a bottom to this black gorge. He looks back to the horizon and victory. Only one thing stands in his way. He clenches his fists, tenses his brow, and begins the descent into the abyss.

Rest in Peace...because we certainly will not be sleeping well ever again.

This is some bullsh*t.

THE END OF THE WORLD

I have dreams where I am incinerated by a nuclear explosion. I get them every two or three months. In these dreams I can feel my skin burning and my body melting. then I die. then I wake up. I know what you're saying now: "NATAHN U CANT DIE IN UR DREAMS LOL :P" WELL I DO SO SCREW YOU.

Nukes. that's exactly what it's like on the other side. NUKES. when we don't have Shiloh...well what the hell DO we have?!! NOTHING!


DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!! DOES IT?!!
if you said SKYNET then you'd be right! We've got this effing Hadron Collider runnin around colliding atoms together (like that's a good idea) and on top of all that North Korea's torturing prisoners and threatening the human race with extinction, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT we've got movies about dolphins being tortured coming out by the same guy who trained Flipper AND ON TOP OF THAT the residents of Shiloh are MOVING OUT!!!! >:O

NO MORE SHOWERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, NO MORE DEADLY LAUNDRY ROOM FLOORS, NO MORE RABID MOSQUITOS, NO MORE HORROR NIGHT--THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.

SEE OUR FUTURE!
(that'll be jon in the back motorcycle)

THE WORLD IS EXPLODING RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW!

EVERYTHING'S GOING CRAZY!!

ATTENTION: THE SHILOH RESIDENTS ARE MOVING OUT IN ONE MONTH, SEVEN DAYS, 2 HOURS, 39 MINUTES, AND 12 SECONDS!

That's right everybody, we're moving out!! We just got word that the house isn't making enough money so they're kicking us out! understandably so!

now what the crap are we going to do about this mess?!! it looks like a bomb went off in this house! in every room! at the same time!

HELP!

we will be incorporating some help to chronicle the final days in our home of homes, Shiloh. Nate Morris and Vineet Gordhandas join the triumphant ranks to aid us in overcoming this new obstacle. wish us luck.

and if we don't make it back in five minutes...CALL THE PRESIDENT.

एवेर्य्थिंग'स गोइंग क्रेजी!

दो नोट ट्रांस्लाते थिस मेसेज।


थे वर्ल्ड इस गोइंग तो हेल! थे रेसिदेंट्स ऑफ़ शिलोह अरे बीइंग उन्देर्स्तान्दब्ली फोर्स्ड तो लीव ओं ग्रौंड्स ऑफ़ नोट हविंग एनौघ रूम्मातेस! ठेस अरे थे च्रोनिक्लेस ऑफ़ थे लास्ट देस!

Dinner, for Once

So it was thursday night. Prisms was recording, laying down guitar tracks in the basement. When we were about halfway through our studio session, Jon and Daniel came in, arms loaded with groceries. After checking in to see how everything was going, they told us they were cooking a delicious dinner and proceeded upstairs into the kitchen. We continued recording guitar, minding our own business. Every now and then we'd hear a smash or crash as pots and pans seemed to be flying around upstairs. We heard footsteps creaking on the floor above and the sink's water seemed to be running the whole time they were cooking.

...and that's when we smelled it. It was like heaven, only better. I smelled the familiar smell of garlic mashed potatoes (one of my favorite foods of all time)!! After our recording session was over I went upstairs to find a feast prepared:

they made a RIDICULOUS meal for dinner!! Caramelised onions over steak w/barbecue sauce, and garlic mashed redskin potatoes, washed down with Red Hook beer. Here's a closeup of the masterpiece:

It was delicious! The mashed potatoes were very garlicy and well-spiced with herbs from the Shiloh Garden (the spice rack in the kitchen), and were creamy and chunky at the same time, which was simply delightful! The steak was fairly tender, with the caramelised onions complementing the taste just right. Barbeque sauce was on hand, but I found that I didn't need it to fully appreciate the steak's juicy taste.

pretty good considering these are two of the lamest and most incapable dudes I've ever met. all they seems capable of is going to Nicaragua and helping build houses for weeks on end, or traveling to africa and feeding the hungry. see what I mean? LAME.

anyway, as we were finishing up, someone suggested that we break out the scotch, which we proceeded to do:
and let's not forget the Ardbeg:
And barring the fact that somebody drank like a massive amount of our whisky somehow, we ate, drank, and were merry! I'm telling you, Glengoyne is insane. if you ever get your hands on it, you are a success!

emceeMC