THE SHILOH POST-APOCALYPTIC SURVIVAL GUIDE

Alright Windows, Multitouch, World, Let's Have a Talk.

2010-04-13T11:20:00.003-04:00

All right, I've had it.

I'm done. I am DONE putting up with this!

WHAT THE CRAP IS UP WITH MULTITOUCH??

it's like we're in the effing stone age here! I've spent ALL MORNING researching touchscreen/multitouch laptops and tablets, and for the LIFE of me and cannot figure out what the H it is that people don't understand!! why does a multitouch pc tablet A) suck more than any other piece of technology ever invented...which leads the next point: B) DOESN'T REALLY EXIST.

I don't really know where to start but let's just start here. this is a joke; it has to be a joke. I couldn't imagine a less responsive screen. it doesn't have an accellerometer either, but don't worry, it has a button to switch into landscape mode! oh, but don't count on it taking less than an hour to reposition. hey, is that the turkey burning while you were waiting for landscape mode? gimme a break, this is absurd.

the iPad is cool but it's not a computer, it's a consumption device. on an iPad you can watch videos, look at pictures, surf the web, get information, read books, whatever. it's great for carrying around and showing it off and it's kinda neat. however, want to write a blog? that essay you gotta get done at the last minute? don't forget your keyboard! don't plan on creating anything or doing anything productive on an iPad. it's a neat gadget but it's not a computer.

I need an EFFING COMPUTER WITH TOUCHSCREEN. here's the deal. this is what I don't understand ISN'T available right now for the normal person:

a PC computer with a swivel screen that uses multitouch.

Dell has one now called the XT2, and it's the first step in a halfway decent direction. but it's mainly for businesses, and it still looks kind of slow in terms of responsiveness. the iPad is super responsive, and that exists today, so what's the deal Dell? what's the deal, HP? another reason that HP has no clue what's going on.

what the hell is that thing anyway? and since when has HP ever delivered something on time? and that actually works? two thumbs DOWN.

when am I going to get a windows pc in which 95% of the programs are multi-touch compatible, responsive, creative, and USEFUL (I'm looking at you, iPad)?? I'm talking about programs you can write on where your writing doesn't come out looking like a picasso painting, like audio mixers that you can manipulate with two hands at once (windows 7 supposedly has support for 10 unique contact points for multitouch, why the crap doesn't anybody have the balls to make a computer that utilizes that??), like presentations and desktop manipulation and ALL THESE THINGS I DON'T HAVE YET!!! if somebody doesn't start doing this soon, I'm going to do it, and I'm going to get rich and steve and bill and all those other rich-types will bow to me! we need a tablet-pc/laptop with multitouch for the average NON-BUSINESS consumer! iPad is distracting everyone with its pretty screen and movies and it's good at that but it's not for universal use. I need a photo editor with multitouch. I need a video editor with multitouch. all this crap!!

I'm going crazy here!!

The Safehouse

2009-08-31T14:46:00.006-04:00

AND IN THE END, THERE WAS NOTHING. ONLY EMPTINESS.

*cue Terminator music*
Shiloh exists now only in our memories. You can't look back. Whenever you look back all you get is pain. So you've got to channel the pain. make it work for you. if you're gonna survive out here in the wasteland, all you can do is...try to survive.

We thought the worst was over when the bombs hit...but that was only the beginning. We couldn't have imagined what came after. Have you ever heard of Nuclear Rain? ...well it's no picnic. at least, not the kinda picnic I'm used to. I saw things you've never even dreamed of. Not in your worst nightmares. You want to talk about survival in the wasteland? well get in line. I've got bigger things to do that worry about your problems. I've got my own problems. Like, how am I supposed to make sure humanity's gonna last another three months? You know what's at stake here, so GET OUT OF MY WAY AND STAY OUT if you know what's good for you.
Me and two other of the survivors heard about a safehouse, somewhere near what's left of old town Alexandria. We leave tonight. If you don't hear from us again...

...it's 'cause we didn't make it.
Nathan Mitchell
Date: D+31 since everything that we knew was taken away

Succeeding in the Wilderness of the Future, Part Deux

2009-07-21T09:51:00.003-04:00

Oh I see. I see what's going on.

You think you're safe. You think you're happy. You've got everything figured out. You're sitting at home in a comfy chair with your little laptop, the quiet whirring of the computer's fan pacifying the stress of the day. You're at the desk in your home office, the dog, Tulip, lapping water out of her bowl in the living room the only sound in an empty house. You're reading The Wall Street Journal in the study, staying current on stock futures and how great your investments are doing. You have a job and a wife and kids, and you know that it's going to rain tomorrow, so it's best to be prepared by putting an umbrella next to the door tonight so you won't forget it in the morning. It's so peaceful, isn't it? Maybe you open the door to the kids room before you go to sleep, just to check on them, knowing they are safe in their beds and the goldfish are swimming around in the tank you got so little Timmy can have a friend. Maybe as you kiss your loyal wife goodnight you whisper a faint "I love you" in her ear, even if she's already asleep. you pull the covers over your head and you sleep soundly; the deep sleep that comes from a good hard day at work and a good hot meal at home. Don't worry...you've got everything in it's right place.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENS:
WORLD WAR THREE.

EVERYTHING IS GONE. THE WIFE, THE KIDS, THE REFRIGERATOR. You want to know where your little dog Tulip is? You want to know where timmy's goldfish are? THIRTY MILES SOUTHWEST OF YOUR POSITION. DEAD.

That's what happens to you when you think everything's going your way and everything's gonna be a-OK. quit your job and start preparing!!! You know what shiloh's doing? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? well get ready for this butt-kicking:

1) Sherwin signed a lease for a new place ALREADY
2) Nathan + Nate may have just found our dream house
3) Jon's got a fiancee so who cares
4) SO BOOYAH!

you are so naive. mister two and a half children. mister cookie-cutter. mister go with the flow. mister advertising specialist. get over yourself.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WHEN NORTH KOREA SHINES A NUKE LASER ONTO YOUR ROOF AND BLASTS YOUR TROPHY WIFE INTO A MILLION PIECES?? YOU AND YA FRIENDS AH DEAD!

Succeeding in the Wilderness of the Future

2009-07-06T21:56:00.012-04:00

Faced with the prospect of the apocalypse occurring in only 24 days, I have no choice but to update everyone on

1) How to Survive in the World, and
2) What Shiloh is Doing to Prepare:

first things first. How do you survive in the world? You survive by BEING PREPARED. Some practical ways you can be prepared is by making sure you have enough gas in your post-apocalyptic super-go-kart/skiff/jet/rocket plane/apollo spacecraft/car w/spikes for wheels. It's important that you have enough gas because gas is already a commodity, and when the world ends it's going to be the last thing people are fighting over. It's gonna be like gold so make sure you're gassed up and ready to roll and/or joust depending on the scenario. you don't want to hit the gas in a post-apocalyptic jousting match and have nothing happen. talk about losing street cred. get with it man!

another practical way you can be prepared is by making sure you choose the correct post-apocalyptic weapon. You don't, for example, necessarily want to choose a rocket launcher for your post-apocalyptic weapon because how many rockets are you really going to find once the nuclear dust settles? one? two? doubt it. if you're going to choose the rocket launcher be sure to collect enough rockets beforehand or you'll be stuck lugging around some dusty old hunk of metal for the rest of your life, and we already talked about gas...how are you gonna account for the extra weight in your super-go-kart? it's a waste. think about a sword or axe or something that doesn't need any extras. if zombies start turning up you'll be happy you don't have to scrounge for ammunition. A zombie hatchet, for instance, would work great in this type of future-scenario.

finally, another great way to be prepared is to horde food and water in a small, ultra-secret bomb shelter/hideout. the warped wooden shelves will hold a small assortment of nonperishable canned food and maybe a nailgun if you're lucky enough to have one of those. a small pistol, some cash, and maybe some gold rings in a safe in the corner is also a nice touch. tattered pre-apocalyptic movie posters sparsely decorate the walls. long after the bombs drop you know you are the bearer of the only key to your personal fallout shelter, where you can live safely with that special post-apocalyptic-someone for a solid six months to a year while the battle for oil, land, weapons, and just about everything else rages a few cubic feet of dirt above you.

BE PREPARED!

which brings us to our next and final question: "what are the residents of shiloh doing to prepare for the coming housing jumble/nuclear holocaust??" And the answer is that aside from Nate and Sherwin looking sporadically for houses on craigslist, we've done just about nothing to get ready for our epic move. no gas, no weapons (although I might try to steal the zombie hatchet from the laundry room at the last minute) no nothing. well actually that's not true, I did take the Death Star in to see what was wrong with it...

...but that thing wouldn't last five minutes in the post apocalyptic world...at least...not until I put SPIKED WHEELS OF DOOM on the hubcaps!!

...but seriously, Shiloh is not prepared to move at all.

-MCMC

We meet our hero as he stands on the precipice. His footing is weak.

2009-07-01T12:22:00.000-04:00

We travel backwards to only moments ago where our hero rides into his enemies lands with determination and courage in his eyes. The brilliant gleam of victory lay on the horizon of the sunset sky. When suddenly he hears a crack like the trunks of a thousand trees bursting and falling to the ground. A great chasm opens in the ground in front of him, spewing steam and earth and fire upwards into the red sky. His stallion rears, knocking him off, and the poor beast tumbles into the void. Our hero slams into the earth, which quickly crumbles under him, he grasps hurriedly for solid ground but the dirt continues to give away. Our hero, who only moments ago beamed with strength and valor, now scurries like a helpless mouse. The earth cracks more and more; the sound like that of shattering bone. The courage in his eyes lost, replaced with fear, the fear of death.

Reach! Keep reaching! You can't die! You're going to die. NO! This is it. Everything is lost. What's this? This patch feels solid. Reach! Yes. The ground isn't breaking. This is it. On your feet. ON YOUR FEET!

We arrive again at our hero on the edge. He gazes into the blackness below. There appears to be no end. What must our hero do? Something shimmers in the corner of his eye. Where did that come from? He looks to the horizon, now shrouded by dust and smoke, and he sees it again. Glimmering beyond the dust and smoke, still on the horizon, is our hero's goal. His victory still lies ahead. He hears a whinny come from the hole. His horse...still alive? The stallion whinnies again, the sound is faint but unmistakable. There must be a bottom to this black gorge. He looks back to the horizon and victory. Only one thing stands in his way. He clenches his fists, tenses his brow, and begins the descent into the abyss.

Rest in Peace...because we certainly will not be sleeping well ever again.

2009-06-29T00:30:00.007-04:00

This is some bullsh*t.

THE END OF THE WORLD

2009-06-26T21:33:00.008-04:00

I have dreams where I am incinerated by a nuclear explosion. I get them every two or three months. In these dreams I can feel my skin burning and my body melting. then I die. then I wake up. I know what you're saying now: "NATAHN U CANT DIE IN UR DREAMS LOL :P" WELL I DO SO SCREW YOU.

Nukes. that's exactly what it's like on the other side. NUKES. when we don't have Shiloh...well what the hell DO we have?!! NOTHING!

DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!! DOES IT?!!
if you said SKYNET then you'd be right! We've got this effing Hadron Collider runnin around colliding atoms together (like that's a good idea) and on top of all that North Korea's torturing prisoners and threatening the human race with extinction, AND ON TOP OF ALL THAT we've got movies about dolphins being tortured coming out by the same guy who trained Flipper AND ON TOP OF THAT the residents of Shiloh are MOVING OUT!!!! >:O

NO MORE SHOWERS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, NO MORE DEADLY LAUNDRY ROOM FLOORS, NO MORE RABID MOSQUITOS, NO MORE HORROR NIGHT--THIS IS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.

SEE OUR FUTURE!
(that'll be jon in the back motorcycle)

THE WORLD IS EXPLODING RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT NOW!

EVERYTHING'S GOING CRAZY!!

2009-06-24T09:20:00.004-04:00

ATTENTION: THE SHILOH RESIDENTS ARE MOVING OUT IN ONE MONTH, SEVEN DAYS, 2 HOURS, 39 MINUTES, AND 12 SECONDS!

That's right everybody, we're moving out!! We just got word that the house isn't making enough money so they're kicking us out! understandably so!

now what the crap are we going to do about this mess?!! it looks like a bomb went off in this house! in every room! at the same time!

HELP!

we will be incorporating some help to chronicle the final days in our home of homes, Shiloh. Nate Morris and Vineet Gordhandas join the triumphant ranks to aid us in overcoming this new obstacle. wish us luck.

and if we don't make it back in five minutes...CALL THE PRESIDENT.

एवेर्य्थिंग'स गोइंग क्रेजी!

2009-06-24T09:17:00.001-04:00

दो नोट ट्रांस्लाते थिस मेसेज।

थे वर्ल्ड इस गोइंग तो हेल! थे रेसिदेंट्स ऑफ़ शिलोह अरे बीइंग उन्देर्स्तान्दब्ली फोर्स्ड तो लीव ओं ग्रौंड्स ऑफ़ नोट हविंग एनौघ रूम्मातेस! ठेस अरे थे च्रोनिक्लेस ऑफ़ थे लास्ट देस!

Dinner, for Once

2009-06-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

So it was thursday night. Prisms was recording, laying down guitar tracks in the basement. When we were about halfway through our studio session, Jon and Daniel came in, arms loaded with groceries. After checking in to see how everything was going, they told us they were cooking a delicious dinner and proceeded upstairs into the kitchen. We continued recording guitar, minding our own business. Every now and then we'd hear a smash or crash as pots and pans seemed to be flying around upstairs. We heard footsteps creaking on the floor above and the sink's water seemed to be running the whole time they were cooking.

...and that's when we smelled it. It was like heaven, only better. I smelled the familiar smell of garlic mashed potatoes (one of my favorite foods of all time)!! After our recording session was over I went upstairs to find a feast prepared:

they made a RIDICULOUS meal for dinner!! Caramelised onions over steak w/barbecue sauce, and garlic mashed redskin potatoes, washed down with Red Hook beer. Here's a closeup of the masterpiece:

It was delicious! The mashed potatoes were very garlicy and well-spiced with herbs from the Shiloh Garden (the spice rack in the kitchen), and were creamy and chunky at the same time, which was simply delightful! The steak was fairly tender, with the caramelised onions complementing the taste just right. Barbeque sauce was on hand, but I found that I didn't need it to fully appreciate the steak's juicy taste.

pretty good considering these are two of the lamest and most incapable dudes I've ever met. all they seems capable of is going to Nicaragua and helping build houses for weeks on end, or traveling to africa and feeding the hungry. see what I mean? LAME.

anyway, as we were finishing up, someone suggested that we break out the scotch, which we proceeded to do:
and let's not forget the Ardbeg:
And barring the fact that somebody drank like a massive amount of our whisky somehow, we ate, drank, and were merry! I'm telling you, Glengoyne is insane. if you ever get your hands on it, you are a success!

emceeMC

Shiloh is Depressed

2009-06-12T15:42:00.006-04:00

Well after a round of weddings and countless stupid engagements, Shiloh is officially wallowing in depression. our rooms are a wreck, sherwin's room smells like ferrets, the shower's too hot, the sink's too dirty, the basement's to humid, it's like flames at night when we're trying to sleep, I can't seem to go to bed at a reasonable hour, Jon's flaking out on work, our house is being overtaken by various size bugs...which isn't helped by me trying to feed all the spiders I see in the house. ...speaking of which.......

***

I saw a small spider in the tub area of the shower and he was trying to get up the side but it was too slippery, so I made a ladder out of toilet paper so he could use it to climb out, then I went to sleep. but when I woke up in the morning he was still in there. not only was he still in there but he didn't seem to be moving very much. I tried blowing on him but he wouldn't budge. I knew he wasn't dead so I decided that he wasn't moving because he didn't have anything to eat. I know I get tired when I don't eat so I started trying to figure out where I could possibly find an ant or bug to feed him.

which is when I looked up at the light that was on in the bathroom directly over my head, and discovered, depressingly, literally 14 bugs, all in different shapes and sizes, flying around in the bathroom around the light. "What luck!" I thought to myself, "any of these will do!" So I chose one of the bigger beetles, grabbed my Urbana '06 book and with one *WAP!* he was done. I scooped up the barely-alive-but-fading-rapidly beetle and put it next to my spider friend. But my spider friend did not budge. again I blew on the spider and he just started moving around the tub in the opposite direction. great. "Oh, well," I thought to myself as I tucked my thumbs underneath my suspenders, "at least I know I've done my good deed for the day!" I brushed my teeth and went to work. When I got home the spider was gone. I really hope he went up the toilet-paper ladder. He hasn't been seen since. I just hope he got a "bite" to eat before he left! oh man that cracks me up!

Shiloh's depressed. *le sigh...

Horror Night at Shiloh LIVES!!

2009-05-21T09:22:00.005-04:00

For all you horror dudes and chicks, I'm proud to announce that Horror Night at Shiloh returned from the grave, so to speak, two nights ago. We have a new TV in the basement (the same one that was at 2708...*single tear) and it has been awesome so far!

Wednesday Night: The Midnight Meat Train
Sounds gross right? Sounds promising, right? Correct! Sherwin and I rolled over to Circle Pizzeria (NY-Style large pizza), scored a large cheese, took it back and threw on the movie. Originally adapted from a 7-page short story by Clive Barker, Midnight Meat Train was pretty sick!! I want everyone to watch this because it rules, so I won't give anything away, but suffice to say I will be legitimately freaked out for the rest of my life if I am the only person on a metro car at night. And I will never look at the Metro the same way again. The last fight scene is incredible. Kudos to the cinematographer and special effects crew for putting together a suspenseful and ridiculously gory endgame (conceptually as much as visually--you'll see what I mean). There are some brutal and tragic twists in this movie, and Sherwin and I highly recommend it!

Thursday Night: Quarantine
If you liked Cloverfield but thought it wasn't realistic enough, and if Diary of the Dead freaked you out but you weren't necessarily moved...you are going to flip out over Quarantine, a recent "handheld-camera" type horror movie. I won't give anything else away, but the plot is rationed out slowly and precisely, with incredibly realistic and terrifying results. Sherwin and I bought another large cheese pizza for this movie, this time from Pizza Boli's, but halfway into my second slice I completely forgot about the pizza and was fully engaged in this movie and totally freaked out!! Didn't touch the pizza after that. Neither did sherwin. This movie, plotwise, is so well done that at every turn you simoultaneously want to know more, and don't want to know any more, and just want it to be over and go away...but it is as unforgiving as it is patient. Incredible.

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THE SHILOH NEWS:
1. Weddings have been pissing everybody off and as such Shiloh has, obviously, plunged into the abyss of selfish pizza-devouring horror movie nights and videogames. We're coming apart at the seams!! Sherwin's got a shinsplint and Nathan randomly ordered 3 gamecube controllers. I don't know what's going on.

2. Nathan has another light in his room!!! that's right folks, I no longer have to be afraid of the dark, with my new "2nd lamp" in the room! of course, now I can actually see my filthy floor, but also it's easier to clean when you can see stuff. at least that's what people have been telling me.

3. Jonaline is still MIA. where the heck does he go?!

4. Prisms is in the studio working on two demo tracks for the new record! Keep your ears to the ground, these will be ready in a few weeks!

5. Horror Night at Shiloh will soon be extended to the rest of the world!! if you're into horror movies, we will have good news for you guys in the coming weeks...

see ya later!

Guest Post on Thurber Party of 4!

2009-05-18T10:54:00.003-04:00

I know this hasn't been updated in awhile. We'll update it whenever we freakin want get off our backs!! >:0

Anyway this is just to let you know that our very own Emcee Mission Control, aka Nathan Mitchell, will have a guest post over at thurberpartyof4.blogspot.com sometime in the next few days. They are some of me and Sherwin's friends and their blog rules, so effin get over there and quit wasting our time!

Love,
MCMC

Lunch Review #2: Philly Cheese Steak from Breadline

2009-04-27T15:19:00.013-04:00

This is the last effing time I will let sherwin make a decision for me.

Sherwin, after getting cheese steaks for his birthday dinner at Al's Steakhouse in Alexandria last week (which was really good), has gone on a frantic search for the best cheese steak in town, eating cheese steaks everywhere--Subway, Quiznos, and now, BREADLINE. He called me up and we decided to head over there for lunch on a hot Monday afternoon.

for those of you who don't know, Breadline is a new restaurant that opened up on Penn. Ave. You won't be able to glean any information other than that from their website, however, which is literally the crappiest and most uninformative website I have ever seen: http://thebreadlinedc.blogspot.com/

seriously.

on to the review:
The Food: Philly Cheese Steak (a monday-only special) and fries:
The Place: Breadline, 1751 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC
The Price: $11.50
The Pre-Lunch Vibe: I hadn't had anything to eat for 24 straight hours. I had Crisp & Juicy with William, a few cheetos here and there, and that was it. no breakfast, no dinner the night before. So I was starving and would pretty much eat whatever was put in front of me. Sherwin, on the other hand, doesn't usually even eat during the day, but really really wanted to try this cheese steak from Breadline because he had heard good things.
The Verdict: let's start off with the obvious. Does this:
look like a cheese steak to you?

no?

maybe that's because it's NOT:
Nathan: What is this thing?
Sherwin: it has some kind of ketchup on it
Nathan: ...it's...not THAT bad...
Sherwin: I feel like I'm eating beef stew on bread.

It was okay. It did the job of filling me up. The ingredients seemed fresh and the bread was pretty good, but...something about it coming together was just wrong.

Which is when we looked around and saw, easily, one of the douchiest and most pretentious sandwich restaurants in the Metro area. It's super open, carries fine bottled water, obscure root beer (Sprecher's Root Beer...elevation burger does it better. You can't fool me, Breadline. I am the root beer commander), has pictures of various people baking or eating bread from the 1940s, and their pizza, I swear to you, is the size of a DVD. To reference South Park, Sherwin and I both almost died from all the Smug in the air. All the people in there were LOVING it. Yuppie headquarters.

Nathan: this place...sucks.
Sherwin: I hate it in here.
Nathan: it's...horrible.
Sherwin: I am never coming here again.

The thing that really bothered me, in particular, was that they made no effort whatsoever to cover up their pretentiousness. it just sucked. Redeeming factor: the fries were pretty good.

but not enough to give it a grade above a big, fat F.

And so, the question you're all begging to ask: "should I go to Breadline for lunch?"

Sherwin + Nathan say NO!

Sherwin: it is a CRIME to call this a Philly cheese steak.

My name is Nathan and I am a model

2009-04-24T12:56:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone Vinny here. This is my newest graphic design creation. I am so awesome at what I do :-) !!! Nathan is very pretty isn't he. *guuush <3

Vinny+Nathan

Highlights for Children

2009-04-21T12:31:00.003-04:00

Shiloh's been busy with life and other commitments but we have not forgotten about you!

Some highlights:

-Prisms is playing on Sunday at 930 at Galaxy Hut in Clarendon 9-11PM. You need to come!

-Sherwin's Birthday is April 22nd. Aging!

-Nathan in an alltime record left Shiloh at a monumentous 645AM this morning. Unheard of!

-Jon studies a lot. ZZZZZ!

-Sherwin attends Filmfest DC all week and watches at least 3 movies a night and comes home after midnight. Reviews up soon. http://www.filmfestdc.org/ Cinema!

-Invisible Children: The Rescue April 25th which is the day before the Prisms show at Galaxy Hut on April 26 Sunday http://therescue.invisiblechildren.com/graphics/The-Rescue-Manual.pdf Sleep on the Mall with a thousand people!

-Sojourners Conference: http://www.sojo.net/index.cfm?action=events.M2EP&item=M2EP-schedule Men in suits!

-S

Lunch Review #1: Philly Steak and Cheese

2009-04-15T13:38:00.004-04:00

Clever.

Philly Steak and Cheese. As opposed to Philly Cheese Steak. I read ya.

The food: Philly Steak and Cheese sub, steak-fries, A&W Cream Soda in a bottle:

The Place: Sizzling Express, 15th + K
The Price: $9.50
The Pre-Lunch Vibe: I was pretty hungry, and I didn't really care about spending a couple more bucks than normal since I felt vindicated in the light of the previous day's "piece of chicken w/ketchup" lunch that cost a whopping $0.00. Normally I don't get a philly cheese steak unless I'm at Pat's or Geno's in philly, but my coworker recommended it so I went for it.
The Review: Taking the "Philly" out of the name of this sub would make it much better, since, as mentioned above, philly cheese steaks just aren't the same outside of philly. The Philly Steak and Cheese Sub from Sizzling Express came with lettuce, tomato, green peppers, onions, mushrooms, and mayo atop the standard sliced ribeye and provolone cheese. It tasted okay. I mean it was good (the A&W, btw, was an excellent choice), but it's time to draw the line. A Philly Cheese Steak from anywhere but Philadelphia proper is a ruse, a Venus Flytrap, a shallow pond. You see, philly cheese steaks are precious gems of love, and if you go to philly and you have one there, you'll understand. things like lettuce, tomato, mayo, and even your cute little provalone cheese are basically unheard of in philly when it comes to steaks. In philly you're thrown a greasy basket with very thinly sliced steak in a pliable Pennsylvania whitebread with cheese wiz everywhere, and onions if you want them...and that's it. "That's it? where's the provalone? what's up with cheese wiz?! that's gross, Nathan." Get over it. What are you eating anyway? Cosi? oh that's cool. I'll just be over here eating something that doesn't cost $20 and is larger than a toenail and doesn't consist of alfalfa sprouts, imported mustard and "coastal flatbread." What does "Così" even mean? You don't even know, do you? maybe it's french for "tiny amount of expensive food." I prefer to eat at a place that doesn't require you to be pretentious in order to make it through the door. You make me sick.

...more lunchtime food reviews to come!

Review of Hannah Montana: The Movie

2009-04-13T16:45:00.003-04:00

Sherwin: did you know that hannah montana and miley cyrus are the same person?

Vinny: yes

did you just figure this out?

Sherwin: yes

well actually yesterday

when jenn dragged me to the movie

Vinny: you have got to be kidding me

Hannah Montana: The Movie - Zero Stars

-S

l33t haxxorz are @ll over the interwebz

2009-04-10T09:59:00.004-04:00

Friends, Romans, countrymen:

many of you have been coming to the Residents of Shiloh and asking whether or not our blog was again hacked by Vinny.

I assure you, no hacking has occurred. everything is fine, situation normal. we're...everything's good...now...fine...how are you?

THE SHILOH NEWS:
-Nathan has again become super geeky and started playing a stupid video game for hours on end, while still maintaining a debonair chic and whirlwind social life
-Sherwin continues to eat his weight in chinese delivery food every night
-Jon has mind-controlled Caroline's dog, Radley, who has been successfully reprogrammed to believe that sherwin is actually Caroline, as evidenced by this picture:

Regards,
The [actual] Management

SHILOH IS BRRRNNNGGG

2009-04-09T12:28:00.009-04:00

OHNOES SHILOH BURRRNNSSSSS!!!

QUICKLY YA'LL ASSEMBLE THE TEEEAM!

GO TEAM!!

GET OUT THE FIRE!!! ITS GETTING TOO STRONG!!!!

ITS SO HOTT THE FIRE IS BURNNNING US ALL AAAAAHH QUICK WE NEED MORE
WATER SUPPLIES. STOP WATERING THOSE DYING PLANTS AND USE IT ON THE FIREEE
THE FIRE IS AAARRRRHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES

Someone is Trying to Kill Us.

2009-04-07T21:30:00.003-04:00

I'm going to show you some pictures right now...and what you see may shock you.

Do not view the following images if you suffer from asthma, stomach pain, migraines, hypothermia, arthritis, myopia, a general feeling of helplessness, frequent cardiac arrest, spontaneous combustion, the flying Lillies, cramps, dandruff, warts, measles, chicken pox, smallpox, peanut allergies, bronchitis, cancer, AIDS, the inability to stand up for yourself, goosebumps, the Andromeda Strain, The Jimmies, the Jammies, or the Jams, fever, disturbia, dyslexia, arachniphobia, Zimmerman Reaction, or if you are a victim of happenstance, have recently played "savage women" in a large group setting, operated a BRUCKHEIMER equipped with an AMERICAN CHAMPION® Truck Hitch, or tried on men's boxer shorts in a Hecht's or competing department store in the past 14 days.

WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHS OF DEAD AND DYING HOUSEPLANTS. CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK:

as you can see, every one of our houseplants is on their very deathbed. THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT. no. I suggest foul play.

perhaps it was...
VINNY, with the houseplants in the BAY WINDOW, with the GREEN CHILLY SAUCE?!
or, even more likely, MONICA, the large plant BY THE TV IN THE BASEMENT with the ZOMBIE HATCHET??!!?
JON, trying to frame SHERWIN by killing the houseplants ABOVE THE DVDS with the LEFTOVER SKETCHY RICE?!!!
or was it SHERWIN trying to frame NATHAN by doing away with the large houseplant IN THE LIVING ROOM with the HOT POCKET??

all of these are possible, but only the first two seem feasible. what we do know is that there's definitely something going on. I tried adding beer to one of the houseplants the other day and it did nothing. NOTHING. DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS??!! my friends, we are dealing with something completely new. something unseen. something or someone is trying to cut off our oxygen supply, and I am going to get to the bottom of it.

-MC Mission Control

Ad Space

2009-04-07T10:05:00.006-04:00

Shiloh loves and knows God through Jesus Christ.

Come to our worship night in Arlington, if you are free, just in time for Easter.
You can always tivo Lost.

Wednesday night 4/08/09

Jon Beilfuss's House
4247 25th St N
Arlington, VA 22207
7:30-9ish

Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Ephesians 6:18-20

This is how we ride

2009-04-06T12:04:00.005-04:00

Shiloh rides the metro everyday. There are rules to follow even if they are unsaid. They are obvious to anyone that pays attention to their surroundings and tries to respect their fellow man. Any sense of entitlement you think you have to personal space and comfort is null and void. I took the train to the Cherry Blossom Festival this weekend and obverved many of these rules being broken. If you come on a weekday please learn these rules before you ride.

1. Those seats are for the handicapped and pregnant. Fine if you want to sit in them because you are too lazy to stand, but when you see a pregnant woman or an old man with a cane, kindly get up and give them your seat. Being inconsiderate is not a handicap. Inconsiderate people do have a seat though, but it's in hell.

2. Stop eating or keep your food in the fridge. I do not care what you are eating for lunch or dinner. So please do not give me any clues by bringing your bag full of chinese food or your 3 day old sandwich on the train for everyone to smell. You aren't even allowed to eat or drink on the metro anyway. I don't want to step on your crumbs or see your gross mustard stains on the seat. And at the very least that better be mustard. You can either A) Finish your food before you get on B) Wait to eat when you get off or C) Keep it in your bag

3. Move to the middle. There is a lot of space in the middle. Like, a lot. There's ample pole hold ons and you might even snag a seat. You don't need to crowd the ends we can all ride together. It's ok you can party in the middle.

4. Don't block the doorway. If it is crowded step outside. Don't be afraid if you are not an idiot the train will not leave without you. Let people out, we don't need to climb over your lifeless selfish body. When everyone is out theeen get back on, you might even find a seat so you don't have to be a boulder.

5. Take off your stupid bag. If you are standing take off your backpack. It keeps hitting me and knocking me into the wall. What do you even keep in there to make it so big anyway? Put it on the floor and stand above it.

6. Be polite. Listen all you have to say is excuse me and I will get out of your way. You don't need to push me or knock me out of the way. I didn't mean to block your way, in fact I would enjoy the extra room when you leave. I want you to leave. Give me some kind of signal whats wrong with you.

7. Wait for people to leave before you enter. We are all not off yet so wait. Especially if you have a stroller. Just because you have a baby does not give you special access to mow people down with your death machine. We all get what we want, you get on and I get off. Let it happen.

8. I can hear your music and it is not very good. This is not a concert this is the metro. I don't want to hear your country music in the morning or your Daft Punk when I'm still groggy. No one wants to hear your Miley Cyrus, and what are you doing anyway, you are a 40 year old man. If you need the volume to be all the way up on a quiet metro maybe you should stop listening to your device and see an ear doctor.

9. Two people can sit in that seat. I don't care if you had a hard day, so did I. Scoot ever. There is no special selfish HOV sitting. If you have to sit on the end because your stop is close then just stand.

10. Be the boss of your children. I don't need to see your daughter practicing for her future occupation as a pole dancer. And your son almost kicked me in the face attempting a failed pull up which will represent all his life's future failures because you could not keep him in line.

-S

Hey Nathan write a blog and this is how Vinny and I see how our lives will turn out at this immature state via gchat

2009-04-03T11:17:00.003-04:00

Vineet: sherwin

gchat compared to aim

gchat is for adults

aim is for kids

gchat uses contact lists and aim is buddy lists

gchat is status messages and aim is away messages

we're adults now

we need to make sure we are talking about the right stuff

me: taxes and morgages and the economy blah blah blah

my baby learned to walk

roth IRA's

jean valjean was a thief and a liar

i drive a minivan now

do you like my loafers

i wear suits on the weekends too

my wife and i dont have sex anymore

i think my son is stealing from me

Vineet: nice life

me: vinny i am having a heart attack

Vineet: this is your picture of adulthood

me: beeep.beep.beep beep.........

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

must...have....final....image...to...cherish

....aww...crap..vinny dont sit on my face...as i lay dying....

nooooooooooooo!

dead.

aaaaaand scene.

yeah thats adulthood

complete with face sitting death

Sent at 11:10 AM on Friday

Vineet is busy. You may be interrupting.

3 annoying cop outs

2009-04-02T16:08:00.008-04:00

Being intentional is cool and hip. Being intentional makes you consistent and stable. People count on you and depend on you because they know you are good for it. You mean what you say because you do what you say.

However, these excuses are annoying because they prevent you from being intentional:

1) "I am too busy" : Being busy should never be an excuse. You are never too busy to do something and anyone that uses this excuse is severely mistaken. People put things on a priority level as opportunities and responsiblities come up, but they are never too busy to do it. They might not come help you move because they have an office meeting, but I bet if you offered free pizza the priority level would go up. It is good and right to have a multitude of activites to choose from and to mark certain responsibilities more important than others, but do not use that as an excuse to not do what is important to you. For example, we all poop and eat. It is a miracle that we find enough time in our busy lives, no matter what is going on, no matter how much work we have, and no matter what emotional state we are in, or how tired we are, we always find the time to poop and eat. If you are as busy as you say you are you would either starve or explode, whichever comes first. You are never too busy for what you want to do.

2) "Who else is going to be there?" or "Who else is going?" : One of the characteristics of being intentional is the desire to do something because you want to do it, regardless of people or obstacle. How many times has an event, party, or activity been organized and this question is immediately raised? Oh so you might not go now, but if your cute crush comes you might be so inclined to show up. Oh so wait a minute you are a boy and you want to go to this baby shower? Hmmm I wonder why. So you want to go to the rally only if this person comes...ooooh I see. You should not be led to do things you seemingly want to do because of people. If people became more intentional about doing what they wanted to do two amazing benefits would take place right off the bat. A) You are happy because you are doing what you want and B) You are doing it with like-minded people who are there for the same reason and for those that care they might even be attractive and cute. So just go already.

3) "Maaaybe" : Let your yes be a yes and your no be a no. Nobody cares about your copout maybe.

-S

I do not make bad decisions

2009-03-30T12:41:00.009-04:00

People rarely take risks. This is the reason why boys don't ask out girls or how you never knew that the Moon Over My Hammy plate at Denny's is delicious because you decided to go home at 3AM. This is how you keep moving, but never go anywhere. Playing it safe is life's version of a treadmill.

Life is full of possibilities and your body is capable of many things. For example, Mauro Prosperi survived many days in the Sahara desert after losing his way during the Marathon des sables. And Julianne Koepcke survived after a place crash in the Amazon. I was on crew for almost two years in college, and during winter practices we would go out in shorts, a t-shirt and our bare feet and row at 5 in the morning, sometimes in temperatures close to freezing. The human body can follow the will of the Spirit of you let it. You can do many things.

People today lump their decisions into two categories. A 'good' decision is a decision that will work and a 'bad' decision is any decision that has doubt. These decisions are based on the outcome, rather than what you really want. This is how settling happens. And this is how pirates become bankers.

Decisions should be based on what you want, rather than what may or may not happen. Risky decisions are 'bad' decisions with glasses on. The only difference between a good and bad decision is what you want to do. Discomfort or failure does not equal death. Risk does not equal bad. And safe does not always equal good.

And this is how pirates become the captains they've always wanted to.

Live a little. Have some stories to tell your children, rather than telling stories about your crazy friend who actually took chances.

So go ahead, eat jellyfish at a sketchy Chinese restaurant because you have always wanted to try it. Run three marathons in seven weeks because it might be possible, and if not, at least you tried. Why not try getting something different at IHOP so people don't know what to order for you when you take a bathroom break, or making friends with people you might not normally talk to, so maybe, just maybe, you extend a little bit of God's grace and maybe even learn a new perspective. Try the liver with onions, you might actually like it. And Flatliners won't kill kill you, it just makes your mouth hurt a little, you can push through don't be a baby. Sleep in an alley in NY, you'll save loads of money, you can take shifts with your friend and look out for muggers. Kayaking the ocean? Please, you can do that in your sleep.

Do what you can while you are here.

How will any of you ever know what you are made of or what you really want if you keep running on a treadmill during your youth?

-S

Sherwin Finally Comes Up with Something Awesome

2009-03-30T09:59:00.003-04:00

As most of you readers out there in blogland know, Sherwin makes absolutely horrible decisions. From eating jellyfish at midnight in sketchy Chinatown to running three marathons in six weeks, I know that I can basically ask him for advice on any subject and trust that if I do the exact opposite of what he tells me to do, everything will turn out okay! Thanks, Sherwin!

Friday night, however, Sherwin totally redeemed himself from virtually every bad decision he has ever made. Bad decisions like eating Flatliners at Buffalo Wing Factory with no spicy-food preparation beforehand, hiking old rag twice in one day, and keeping my friend's Nikon SLR camera in his bag of filth. But like I said, Sherwin is the man and has overcome virtually every poor decision made in recent memory in one fell swoop.

GHOSTBUSTERS. E STREET CINEMAS. MIDNIGHT.

First things first. We need to collectively establish that Ghostbusters is one of the greatest movies of my/your childhood, and a celluloid MASTERPIECE. Everything about that movie is incredible. The dry humor, the special effects, the writing...whatever the point is Ghostbusters is incredible and everyone knows it. Seeing it on a big screen with a packed audience in DC at midnight with my best friends sherwin + vinny was the best decision in recent memory. and Sherwin came up with it. Good job, sherwin! GHOSTBUSTERS IS SO GOOD!!! As a result of seeing this movie, the next car I get (hopefully this week) I am going to name Ecto-1.

As a small plug for E Street Cinemas, that place rocks, student price is $8 for a movie--which I always seem to secure--and they play, in addition to most of the current popular movies, a ton of cool pretentious indie films too! In fact, it rules so much and Sherwin has so few inhibitions that he has been known to take a lunch break, walk a few blocks over to E Street, catch a random movie, and walk right on back to work. There are also tons of weird characters to make fun of and peoplewatch at E Street. Like the one time we came out of this awesome/crazy time-paradox-type movie from Spain called TimeCrimes, where this Spanish guy kept going back in time to try to fix his mistakes, only to be foiled by his future self who was being foiled by HIS future self...you get the idea. Our group of six was talking outside, trying to figure out what the crap we just saw, when this really weird dude came up and started talking about paradoxes and how "amazing" this film was. He was right about a lot of stuff, so me and Sherwin decided/pretended that he was a really famous movie critic and we were just in the presence of greatness.

So in conclusion, I hope this encourages all of you to go out there and make something out of your life. Ghostbusters is a cinematic masterpiece and seeing it huge is AWESOME. Go to E Street (with me?) and see a movie of your choice, because the moral of the story is that if Sherwin somehow makes a good decision, you know it has to be good.

blaaarrggh haxx / guest post

2009-03-28T23:55:00.004-04:00

hey blog monkeys,

dj leather interior here. i am in the shiloh house, i am actually sitting amongst the residents at the very moment. We're just sitting here, talking about various and random topics, mindless rants about anything and everything. little do they know that while this is going on i am defiling their blog...destroying its integrity...smothering any chance of hope they have for the future of this blog. yes. yeeessssss hahhahaha, its over for you shiloh!! you and your friends are dead!

well no, i actually like this blog so what good would it do if i ruined it. i dont want to kill you, what would i do without you? nothing thats what. well actually i would probably focus more time on my own blog. check it out if you have the time: vbgdesign.blogspot.com (nice plug)

sherwin just took the cinnamon challenge. thats where you try and swallow a whole spoonful of cinnamon, its apparently impossible. it seemed like sherwin had some difficulty, but who knows. so on the topic of challenges, so far its been all sound and no fury. we talk and talk about the challenges, new ones come up nearly every time this topic arises, but we never actually do anything. basically we need to set a date, pick a challenge and just do it. my sugesstion is the dairy creamer challenge...the flavored dairy creamer challenge. the opposition against this of course that it already sounds absolutly, horrifyingly disgusting and terrifying. well i don't know i'm down for whatever. have you noticed how most challenges involve some kind of dairy product? gallon of ice cream, gallon of milk, half gallon of eggnog. does anyone have a suggestion for a non-dairy related challenge?

look i dont really know what i'm doing here. maybe next time i haxx this blog i'll have a plan. do i look like a guy with a plan?

nathan's wintry mix is rocking my life right now.

love always,
dj leather interior

Things boys eat when they are sad

2009-03-28T20:48:00.003-04:00

1. Cereal in a metal bowl used for baking large cakes
2. Hot pockets on a paper towel
3. Ramen in tupperware
4. Rippled potato chips in hand and ranch dip in case
5. Large family lasagna dinner in its original container
6. Peanut Butter on a spoon with multiple slices of bread in lap
7. Wine in a pint glass and sardines from the can
8. Eggs, scrambled, microwaved, in container of finished family lasagna dinner
9. popcorn in bag doled out to be eaten in bowl
10. Vienna sausages from the can

-S

Passing the Time on the Metro #1: Train Hopping

2009-03-27T11:04:00.007-04:00

Sometimes the distance between point A and point B can get very tedious. You can twiddle your thumbs and stare yourself into insanity. Believe me, I have done it many times before and it is not enjoyable. Sometimes you have to get up and take charge of your own life and realize that you do not have to put up with this.

The metro can be a long ride.

The first activity in this series is something I have recently discovered. It is called train hopping. It harkens back to the days of freighthopping which is the practice of covertly hitching a free ride on a railroad freight car. Migrant workers use to do this in the old days because they were unable to find affordable transportation.

Freight hopping today is extremely dangerous because conditions inside the car can be severe based on weather, as well as reported dangers from other freighthoppers who may be ex-cons or other violent undesireables.

Trainhopping the DC metro has all of the thrill, but the only severe danger is potentially being late for your activity.

Yesterday after work I barely caught my rain and made it through the doors as it closed on my bag. I was on the very last train. I wanted to be somewhere in the middle so at the next stop I decided to get off and move as far as I could up. Around Farrugut West I quickly manuevered my way past crowds, being careful not to knock people over, and barely made it to the next train, again the doors closing on my bag, adrenaline was surging through me. At Foggy Bottom I got off and managed to move up two cars.

The most important thing is to keep your ears open for the 'doors closing' warning sound. You can play it safe moving up one car at a time, but it is possible with two. I played by my own personal honor system and left at the door I came in, although if you want you can move up in your train to make hopping easier.

Another factor you have to keep in mind is manuevering the crowd. At some points you might be going against crowd traffic which can get intense, just be careful not to mow anyone down, and keep small children in your peripheral.

If you have a longer ride and you make it to the front, you can just work your way back. With two or more people the adrenaline factor goes up considerably, but remember there is danger of losing your friends and challengers.

Trainhopping can be an enjoyable experience and is a good equivalent if you missed your gym workout that day. Bring an extra undershirt if you choose to do this in the morning.

Don't worry, you'll be there in no time.

-Sher

Spring Cleaning

2009-03-26T09:28:00.008-04:00

Every house has to do it. You gotta clean. You gotta get in there and scrub down the sink and mop the floors and clean that crap up.

However. This becomes difficult when your house is covered in filth.

That's right, virtually every room in Shiloh seems like FEMA's going to bust in with some man in a suit and a hardhat yelling, "THIS IS OUR JURISDICTION!" and start setting up Cranes and Support Teams and Infrastructure, mercilessly barking orders at some 22 year-old intern who joined FEMA so he could "help people recover" and now all he's doing is fetching coffee and doughnuts for some douchebag in a suit, soon to be so jaded by all the governmental red tape involved with disaster relief that he quits after four years, starts a nonprofit disaster relief organization with the goal of getting much-needed supplies to hard-hit areas, only to be swindled by a con artist masquerading as a ex-Peace Corps volunteer, reducing the poor man's life to a hollow shell, and as he looks back on the lie his life has become he thinks back to that fateful day when the pressures of the working world forced him into nonexistence...that day at Shiloh, epicenter of the world's conflict.

I'm kidding. But seriously. This place is a disaster. We've got beds in random places around the house, I've still got some stuff from when I moved in on the living room couches, there's beer bottles and empty potato chip bags in the basement, the sink again overflows with plates, dishes, and glasses, the bathroom's gross, the master bedroom is a disaster zone with random pieces of furniture + sherwin's shoes + other assorted clothing items lying around in there, the kitchen area needs a massive scrubdown w/mop, Jon's room has crap all over it, and the laundry room is...I don't even want to go there (let's just say we do everything in our power to transfer clothes from the dryer to our laundry bags without letting them drop on the floor), and to top it all off Sherwin's room still smells like ferrets.

It's also difficult to do Spring cleaning when SPRING IS 35 EFFING DEGREES.

So we're cleaning Shiloh over the course of the next day + 1/2, and it will be spotless. At least, that's what we keep telling ourselves.

In other news:
1) a Cadence/Prisms Split Acoustic EP is in the works!!! More details to follow, but I can tell you that the plan is for studio sessions to begin in 2 weeks. Excited!!

2) South Park last night was potentially the greatest south park.

3) Sherwin, Nate, Monica, Katie, and David are HORRIFYINGLY LAME for flaking out completely on me and Vinny's trip to Amphora's last night. A NAP, sherwin? gimme a break. we're not friends anymore. ever! also the cereal is left out so that I can pour it faster next time.

4) Where the Wild Things Are has the potential of being the most epic and incredible movie ever. Watch the trailer and prepare to be amazed.

GO UNC!!!
-Nathan

Top 10 Reasons why you would hate Nathan

2009-03-26T09:17:00.007-04:00

1. He is loud
2. Abercrombie Woods Cologne
3. Cereal boxes are left open
4. He goes to bed at 2AM and he wants you too as well
5. The bathroom is hairy
6. All the cereal bowls are in his room
7. He is jean pretentious
8. Bum smoker
9. Where's the milk?
10. Wear looser pants you are making me stumble

-anonymous

Sometimes I like to move

2009-03-23T14:56:00.004-04:00

Sher, checking in. I ran my 4th marathon in the last 7 months on Saturday, the Suntrust National Marathon. I didn't really train for this run this go round and my only goal was to enjoy the views and finish. What was nice about this race is that it was exclusively run in the city. I left around 530AM from Shiloh to catch the metro. I got there late due to delays from the crowd. I ended up starting the race late because of the long bathroom line, and only had 10 seconds to spare to cross the start line. Here are some highlights:

Miles 1-2: The weather was close to freezing and I worked mostly on keeping my hands from freezing. I almost tripped over a speed bump on E Capitol St.

Miles 2-4: I ran down Constitution. It was weird to run down it and not stop at any red lights. My shoes were old and noticed I could feel holes at the bottom. My hands were falling off. I drank way too much power aid and needed to drain the waters. I waved to a cop, she waved back. Score. I would wave to every cop I passed.

Miles 4-8: The sun was coming out, although it was cold in the shade. My right foot hurt so I started formulating a grocery list, to take my mind off pain. Adams Morgan looked skanky. The streets were covered in trash, and everything smelled like feces. And in typical AM neighborhood fashion I chugged two beers given by the crowd. The course was very hilly. Dupont Circle was a blur, I was too busy trying to keep my hands warm.

Miles 8-13: U St. was barren. I remember the tunnels during this stretch were a welcome relief. And the downhills didn't hurt either. I had to pee so I snuck behind a Jamaican Cuisine restaurant and peed on a wall. I saw many other runners peeing in random less conspicuous spots. All systems were a go. I met a guy from NY State and ran with him for about 2 miles. We talked about college and the weather. His son is in the same fraternity as me. I passed him when he stopped to stretch. At the end is where the half marathon runners and the full branched off. There wasn't many of us.

Miles 13-17: I drank way too much power aid and needed to pee again. I got in a line for a portajohn and some guy cut in line and stole my spot, but I heard puking so I let it go. We ran Constitution again. I tripped over the same speed bump I was sure of it. Some kid gave me a snickers bar. I was still going at a good pace.

Miles 17-22: We veered into the SW Harbor. I ran with a girl from North Carolina and we talked about restaurants. She was too slow I passed her after less than a mile. The Harbor looked nice I remember eating at the buffet when I was little. Pain was in my legs so I tried to keep loose and go faster. Some girl gave me twizzlers. I ate 3 while running and almost choked. I could never get that right. I followed a girl for 5 miles. She had a good pace. It's not stalking if it's during a race.

Miles 22-24: Anacostia is gorgeous. The neighborhood was very pretty and many locals were out. A guy in front of me waved to a local and the local responded, "I aint wavin at you bitch, put yo hand down." My leg was killing me and my foot was bleeding. I stopped at a corner and took off my socks and soaked up the blood and threw the socks on the sidewalk and ran barefoot. Running commando rules. The park was a long stretch. I ate a lot of jelly beans and m & m's at one stop for energy and it helped immensely.

Miles 24-26: My foot was still bleeding and it was seeping out of my shoe. Gross. I picked up speed to keep loose. I ate random twizzlers in the grass. They were still in the plastic. The last mile I made a mad dash to the finish. Some girl tried to race me, who I quickly disposed of. I finished with just over 4 hours. Kind of dissapointing. But theres always a next time.

Epilogue: In the past 48 hours I have eaten 5 hot dogs, 4 hamburgers, 2 steaks, 2 pizza bolis large cheese pizzas, a corndog, 3 burritos, a pot of spaghetti, and a pot of rice. Mayor Adrien Fenty beat me by 30 or 40 minutes. I am still hungry.

Vinny's New DJ Name

2009-03-23T14:34:00.004-04:00

I changed the name of our blog. It is no longer The Shiloh Rant. It is now Teh Shiloh Blarghh! >:O DEAL WITH IT. This is just a post to tide all you little twitterers and what-have-yous over because there are some COOL EFFING POSTS coming real soon! So GET READY.

With that, I give you, "What me and Vinny do during work":

12:51 PM Vinny: NEW DJ NAME:

12:52 PM Dj Dutty Riddims

12:55 PM me: gross

dj slime on my shoes

12:56 PM Vinny: dj snot rocket

12:58 PM DUTTY RIDDIMS is my regge/311/sublime cover band scratch Dj name

1:07 PM me: hahahahahaha

1:09 PM czech out the new name of our blargh!

1:13 PM Vinny: TEH SHILOH BLEECHH

1:14 PM me: TAR SHILAR BLARRRRR!!!!!!!!

1:31 PM Vinny: TR SHRKLH BLRRRJJ!!!!

1:32 PM me: DURKA DURR!!

Aggressive Note (A Response)

2009-03-19T20:37:00.005-04:00

"Never attack, unless you know you can win."
-Grandpa Tanaka, 3 Ninjas

If the "past" in "pastsive" is supposed to be a clever play on words, you fail. If you were trying to spell aggressive then maybe you should have spelled that right too, before submitting nonsense for my perusal.

If you don't care about little things--like titles of blog posts--how can I believe that you care that much about Frosted Mini-Wheats? I'd give you an A for effort but this work is so slipshod and careless that I am forced to give you a big fat F.

Also, since when did you care about stale food? I seem to remember a story in which a steak was sitting in the freezer, exposed, for over a year, such that it turned a shade of BLUE, and you ate that. Am I lying? How many mornings have you eaten rice out of a pot Jon didn't even take off of the stove from the night before? How many times have I looked at you in bewilderment (and this is coming from a guy who will eat anything off the floor regardless of how long it's been there) as you make a plate of Chinese "food" (dog, jellyfish) left over from three weeks ago? Oh, hey, remember that loaf of bread with a huge amount of mold on it we found on top of the freezer a few days ago? Hold on, what were the three responses we had?

*Jon picks up loaf of bread*
Jon: GROSS guys what is this doing here??!
Nathan: I was gonna write a blog post about it. Leave it there.
Jon: I'm throwing this away, this is disgusting.
Sherwin: Just peel off the crust guys, it's still good!

You can't possibly care about stale cereal. Much less Frosted Mini-Wheats, because if you let them soak a little they become just as pliable and joyous as new. Also, I don't believe in stale cereal. Stale cereal is just (or almost) as good as regular cereal, to the point where I, the person who obsesses over how deep the spoon I'm using is and judges a cereal based on how good their commercials were in the '80s, don't mind one way or the other.

Get over it, woman. You suck at life.
-Nathan

p.s. sorry about leaving the Frosted Mini-Wheats out.

pastsive agressive note

2009-03-19T17:22:00.010-04:00

"It is sadder to find the past again and find it inadequate to the present than it is to have it elude you and remain forever a harmonious conception of memory."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

Nathan, Frosted Mini Wheats is a delicious cereal. I remember it fondly when I first bought it. Inside its box contained many delicious grains of wheat bound into bite sized pieces with one side enveloped in sugary cherubic goodness. When I first opened the package and poured my precious contraband into my 'walls of jericho' bowl and took my first bite I was immediately transported to a blissful happier place filled with the intoxicating freedoms of juvenescence.

This morning I returned to my box and it was not quite the same. The wheat squares tasted of stale rotting corpses and the sugar I once loved merely gave the grain a sad glimmer of the state it once was. Oh how I lamented and deplored time's tenacity to turn beauty into homeliness and the pristine into corruption. Why couldn't it be like it once was? Why can't beauty be frozen in state so its tasty allure can be enjoyed only a week, months later?

I began to surmise a way to prevent this next time so that many future generations can enjoy the fruit of the past. And then an insightful conclusion expeditiously came to me like a moth to the flame burned by the fire.

Maybe you can close the effin box next time you jerk. Oh and buy us some milk or I will end you.

-Sher

Horror Night at Shiloh

2009-03-17T11:54:00.023-04:00

Many of you may not know this but Sherwin has seen every movie known to man. He's even seen Tom Green's Subway Monkey Hour which I thought I might have had him on, but then he remembered that actually he did see it. I've seen a lot of movies myself, and between the two of us we watch a WHOLE lot of movies. Like, Sherwin watches between an average of two and four movies a day, and still ends up having a life. I don't get it.

What I do get, however, is that we're both really into horror movies, and probably once or twice a week, we go downstairs to the horror lair. Armed with cereal + chocolate for me, and beer + Chinese food for Sherwin, we toss on a horror classic or movie we heard was really gory and get scared. We've already got some pretty crazy stories from our horror nights. Like the time we were watching Hostel and my nose started spontaneously bleeding during a torture scene, or how we watched Cold Prey (a Danish slasher movie) and when I told Todd Grabowsky he thought we were just making fun of an asian person trying to say they went to a Coldplay show, or how Sherwin watched Rogue (a B-movie about a giant crocodile) something like four times in a row one night because it was so good.

It's pretty sweet, and in terms of Horror genres, Shiloh has them all covered: Slasher, Classic Horror, Zombie, everything! It would be a great house for a slow-moving slasher-type movie because it's dark and has sharp corners and lots of little rooms. Actually that reminds me of the time me and Sherwin went to Tyson's AMC and watched the absolutely mind-numbingly terrible slasher-remake of Prom Night, and came out of the movie never wanting to see another movie again.

In terms of straight-up, Exorcist-type classic Horror the whole house is creaky and woodsy, and the downstairs smells like a recently-used fireplace (usually because Jon has recently used it) which instantly reminds me of Evil Dead every time I go down there. Which rules. The basement is pretty spacious but really dark when the lights are off--perfect for a horror movie--the kind of place you'd accidentally end up in while you were running barefoot through the woods from an Unknown Fear, only to be drawn into an end plot where a twist reveals that the Unknown Fear is, in reality, your own mind. You die a tragic death alone in the bathroom of the basement. Nail and teeth marks on the walls and floors indicate to the forensics team investigating the crime scene impossibly high levels of schitzophrenia, but they can't find a cause of death. It becomes a cold case at the Central Precinct and no one talks about it to this day.

But the best part is that I found THIS:

downstairs in the heart of the basement, right next to the washer and dryer. "What is that?" you might be asking. Well, it's a Zombie Hatchet. I'm a huge sucker for zombie movies, and I have to say that this discovery has not only made me extremely happy, but has also made me feel much more safe + secure, knowing that Jon, Sherwin, and I can successfully use the basement as a last stand against the zombie takeover, armed with Shiloh's old, partially-rusted-but-still-kinda-sharp zombie hatchet! I imagine us covered in zombie blood, all three of us struggling to keep the downstairs spare room door closed as countless undead push from the other side. As the window on the opposite side of the room is busted open, and a zombie's evil, pale, blood-spattered face recognizes food and with a shreak attempts to make his way in through the window, Sherwin takes the hatchet and with a triumphant "GYAAAAA!!!" brings the full force down on the zombie's head, destroying what's left of its rotted brain. More come after him. Swinging and hacking, it becomes clear that there are too many zombies to ward off, and as the movie fades to black the sound of "Ave Maria" is heard faintly over the snarling and growling. The fate of the residents of Shiloh--sealed forever in a tomb of wood and stone.

This house literally only gets cooler every day I'm in it.

Lists

2009-03-17T11:54:00.014-04:00

Room Ferret's Top 10 Movies of All Time:

1. Annie Hall
2. Die Hard
3. Singin' in the Rain
4. Casablanca
5. Vertigo
6. Bande A Part
7. City Lights
8. His Girl Friday
9. The Good the Bad and the Ugly
10. The Seven Samurai

Top 10 Horror:

1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
2. Dressed to Kill
3. The Haunting
4. The Evil Dead
5. Profondo rosso
6. The Exorcist
7. The Thing
8. Psycho
9. Suspiria
10. The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Action:

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Hard-Boiled
3. Die Hard
4. The Seven Samurai
5. The Killer
6. Cheung fo (The Mission)
7. Drunken Master 2
8. The Road Warrior
9. The French Connection
10. The Great Escape

Unlame Chick Flicks:

1. Casablanca
2. Chunking Express
3. Amelie
4. Some Like it Hot
5. Harold and Maude
6. City Lights
7. The Philadelphia Story
8. All the Real Girls
9. An American in Paris
10. Lost in Translation

Top 5 French New Wave:

1. Breathless
2. The 400 Blows
3. Bande A part
4. Jules et Jim
5. Week End

Top 10 Real Badassery:

1. Point Blank
2. Le Samourai
3. Oldboy
4. The Great Escape
5. Yojimbo
6. Charley Varrick
7. Once Upon a Time in the West
8. From Russia With Love
9. Rififi
10. Hard Times

Top 5 Giallo:

1. The Bird with the Crystal Plummage
2. Suspiria
3. Deep Red
4. The House with Laughing Windows
5. Opera

Top 5 Italian Neo Realism

1. The Bicycle Thief
2. Umberto D
3. Stromboli
4. La Strada
5. Rome, Open City

5 Lame Chick Flicks that I May or May Not Like (For Greta):

1. When Harry Met Sally (Lame)
2. Moonstruck (Lame)
3. You've Got Mail (Lame)
4. Only You (Lame)
5. The Notebook or How we died at the same time for dramatic Effect (Lame)

The Shower at Shiloh.

2009-03-15T23:45:00.006-04:00

"Well, back into the torture chamber..."
-Ross Cantrell

Our shower is the greatest shower in existence. The above quote is in reference to our shower's unfailing quality of having the force of a jet engine firing knives of burning lava at your person.

let's start with the basics. hot showers rule. I got love for people who dig the cold shower, but it's not my thing. I like to start out with reasonably warm water and gradually, over the course of the next 20 minutes, turn the dial up until the heat makes it humanly impossible to survive. by the end of any normal shower I can expect to be exhausted from being tested by fire and proving my worth. so I love hot showers.

which brings us to Shiloh. The hot water is SO. HOT. it doesn't make sense. our shower uses the two-dial approach for temperature adjustments, so you have to get the correct setting between the Hot and Cold Dials in order to have a successful experience. however, this is impossible. this is because the dials are SUPER sensitive, and any adjustment whatsoever is either going to leave you a rotting corpse of ashes as you are instantly burned alive, or frozen solid as liquid ice (yes. LIQUID. ICE.) rains down, fusing your body with the tub in the blink of an eye. the reason all of this could hypothetically happen is that the sheer amount of water that comes from this showerhead defies the imagination. seriously, go ahead. turn it on. try it. as soon as you turn that dial, your life as you know it is over. water comes out of the showerhead so fast that five minutes' exposure of water to the opposing wall would likely cause massive erosion and threaten extinction of seventeen species of whale, including the narwhal which is endangered.

So the procedure for taking an effective shower at Shiloh is as follows:

1. Prepare psychologically. this is something you will not be ready for, and you need to be able to face the consequences if you suffer 3rd degree burns to the back or stomach.
2. map out the fastest way to the hospital, taking into consideration the time of day and present traffic conditions in the Fairfax area.
3. put on Biosuit.
4. have a bucket of cold water on hand in case a fire breaks out from the lava spewing from the showerhead.
5. fill out an emergency contact form and give it to one of the Shiloh Residents.
6. take out a ruler and turn the Hot dial 2cm to the left
7. take the same ruler and turn the Cold dial 1.5cm to the right
8. RUN.

In conclusion, messing with the Shiloh Shower is like messing with a grizzly bear.

now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

The Taming of the Sink

2009-03-10T09:39:00.006-04:00

When I first moved into Shiloh the sink in the kitchen was a violent beast. It would spray water everywhere, and doing the dishes for the first time was definitely a helter-skelter endeavor, with water spewing haphazardly in a plethora of direction. By the end I was covered in water, along with the floor and the surrounding areas. I was fed up and refused to use it, even coming to the point of buying paper plates and plastic utensils. Most of the time we do not bother to choose the Grace of learning to love what frustrates us, and instead choose to avoid it entirely.

One day I fortuitously observed Nathan washing his cereal bowl, water splattering everywhere. Nathan churlishly hit the water faucet several times until a steady stream of water came pouring out. Without question I followed suit and began to mimic this technique. For the next several days I became proficient with this approach, and instinctively did it everytime. Most of the time we do not bother to know how something works, but simply that it does.

A few days later I was in the kitchen and once again observed Nathan crassly swatting the sink to work. Jon looked at him befuddled and walked over to the sink, gently pulled the spout out, and produced the same effect resulting in a consistent peaceful stream of water. All we had to do was learn how the sink worked to know how to treat it. Most of the time we do not realize that there is always a higher way of doing things, other than the way we do it.

The higher way is often a painful blow to us because we can be just as unruly and obstinate as the sink in our kitchen. We treat knowledge of the alternatives as the swatting of a hand to our face, and when we do eventually come to the point of a consistent stream, it is because we have been boorishly beaten into submission.

Most of us have heard the phrase "experience is the best teacher," taking to heart its erroneous claim. Benjamin Franklin wisely states the higher alternative, "Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools learn in no other." What this knowingly implies is that the best teacher is not your experience, even though good lessons are learned, but instead the experiences of others should be the seed of knowledge and the applicability will be the fruit. The best teacher is the experiences of others who have already done it.

When you allow yourself to be open to the gentle taming of the Divine, you are able to follow an example higher than your own and be like a consistent stream of water without the swatting of a hand across your face. Gentle guidance is only earned through consistent example. If you are living it right, then you are being observed by others, testing to see what way works and what way does not. But if you are living it righteous, then you are not just being observed and tested for flaws, you are being followed, because the way you learned not only works, but is contagious. The swatting of the faucet does not tame the sink, it destroys it, and will only work if you are there to beat it. The taming of the sink comes from the Grace of a gentle pull.

"This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practise ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people."

C. S. Lewis

-Sher

Our Sink Employs the "Get water on everything except what you're aiming for" Method of Working

2009-03-06T12:24:00.018-05:00

From gchat:
me:what should I write about today

Sherwin: maybe we should write about something from your perspective

and then my perspective

Sherwin: the violence of the sink

or the purple rugs that need to die already

me: that would be so tight

I'll write about the sink

yeah!

Sherwin: itll be like Vantage Point except not horrible

Our sink sucks.

As many of you know we don't have the cleanest sink. don't worry we had a roommate meeting (and by roommate meeting I mean we talked about photography and took pictures of random things in the kitchen for 45 minutes, discovered snow outside, and proceeded to drive around and do emergency-brake turns all through our neighborhood for an hour, then came back and went to sleep) and we're working on it. so if you're thinking of moving in, it's great! :)

When we first came to Shiloh I remember going over to the sink to get a glass of water. I was expecting a typical easy flow of water, but when I turned the sink on, fiery evil knives of water came shooting out in all directions. there was no "stream" or "tap" of water, but only a vicious "CHRREAAKKKKK" followed by "WHOOSH" and finally me yelling, "GAHH!!" as water got all over everything. the dishes, the table around the sink, my shirt, the floor, and I'm pretty sure water even hit my glasses. either that or it rained. only on my glasses. inside.

so we tried different techniques of getting around this problem, and tried to turn it on slow. but then water only drips from the edge of the spout, which is annoying. So one day I decided to smack it with my fist, and a perfect "shower-style" water pattern dripped elegantly into the sink. I of course flipped out and ran and told Sherwin how our sink finally works now, all you have to do is hit it! About a week later I'm in the kitchen with Jon, probably eating cereal and talking about how ironic it is that he was eating English Muffins, when I picked up my cereal bowl and took it over to the sink, turned it on, and slammed my fist down on the spigot, with rejoicing. Jon then looked at me puzzled and walked over next to me, turned off the sink, turned it back on, and gently pulled the spout, producing the very same result. perfect stream of water. then he laughed at me and I went into my room and cried and listened to Thursday. Just kidding. but that would've been pretty funny.

We had conquered the sink. It no longer had power over us. We could actually aim it at things in the sink and clean them!

at least, that's what we thought. one day, for no reason, the sink's spout reverted back to its true nature, and never returned from the Dark Side. Water spews in all directions now, and no amount of tugging, pulling, or slamming of fists alleviates our situation. it's virtually impossible to clean dishes with because it's so inaccurate. it defies physics. like, water comes out at 360 degrees. I can't explain it. in fact if you want to get a glass of water you have to put the cup literally over the spigot in order to have any hope of filling it up. It's pretty funny, and pretty annoying. Another thing that makes Shiloh the greatest house EVER!!

in other Shiloh-related NEWS (presented in sound byte form): Sherwin and I both had incredible weekends, Liz is funny, Nate Morris is SUPER geeky and sucks at life but is good at WoW, I find out that I'm an even bigger douche than I realized, Ross turns out to be a pretty good photographer, and we're all abstaining from seeing the Watchmen until Vinny comes in to town on Friday the 13th.

See ya!

Look. See. Feel. Do.

2009-03-05T11:30:00.006-05:00

Every morning I usually walk from Metro Center to my building in Gallery Place. It's like clockwork the way I walk down F Street and make a left at 6th, that most times I don't even think about it. Today I was stopped by a friendly older gentleman who was late for a job interview and he needed directions to a building that was near my office. I offered to walk with him.

He initiated a conversation with me about my usual commute and my occupation. He would sometimes stop in mid conversation to point out something he noticed. He would say something about the colors of buildings, or of street names, and he had a funny way of saying good morning or smiling at everyone that crossed our path. After I had walked him to his building I began to realize how many things I did not notice about my familiar walk, or even how many people I pass every morning.

Boredom of the familiar does not come from a fullness of knowledge, it comes from an overabundance of pride. This results in stagnant growth and the selfish pursuit of greener grasses. When pride closes your eyes you see nothing but your own superiority and your disdain for the unfamiliar grows, simply because it would be an insult for you to not know it. Only when you turn your head upward and open your eyes do you see the entirety of the ever expanding unfamiliar. You are precisely placed for purposes higher than conventional reason, so look around.

-Sher

People Seriously Need to CHILL OUT on the Metro

2009-03-04T16:41:00.008-05:00

Yesterday Sherwin and I rode the Metro. This is normal. Every morning we wake up and drive to the metro together. I stop at macpherson square, he gets of at metro center.

What was not normal was tuesday morning's events that created a perfect storm

of passive-aggressive metro douchiness that few humans have the pleasure of witnessing in their pitiful, frail lifetimes.

Allow me to begin. Sherwin and I's conversation on the metro every morning consists of me trying to avoid silence by being as loud as possible, and Sherwin just going along with it because you can't stop me. I hate it when people are stupid and quiet on the metro so I just counteract it by practically yelling. try it sometime, it's fun! Anyway we got on the train at Vienna and sat down in the chairs in the center of the seating area, which are the ones that are back-to-back with each other. We were having our normal, loud conversation. I think this time we were talking about how great The Watchmen is going to be and how we need to read the book before we see the movie next weekend. Then we started talking about how late we were every morning, and Sherwin said something to the effect of, "you should wake up early so you can...READ A BOOK or READ THE PAPER..." and I despised that comment because I perceive that as a yuppie trait that I refuse to take part in, so I said even louder than I had been talking before, "DON'T YOU PUT THAT ON ME SHERWIN, DON'T YOU EVER PUT THAT ON ME!" obviously I was joking but a woman in the seat directly behind us reared her passive aggressive head around and gave us a really long, exasperated "SHHHHHHHHHHH."

Sherwin and I lost it. We started laughing hysterically. Sherwin then proceeded to say, so that she could hear, "DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?" and then "DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO BE QUIET OR JUST YOU?" and we tried to get a little louder as the train ride progressed. People started crowding. West Falls Church Station was jammed with people trying to get onto our train, so it filled up quickly. As many of you know, when a metro train gets filled to the brim, people start crowding the door, and inevitably some idiot doesn't realize their backpack is preventing the doors from closing, and Metro trains don't move if the doors can't close, so you have to sit there at the station waiting for this ridiculous person to realize how he's quickly ruining everyone's day by holding up the train, and the metro operator gets on the loudspeaker and says something like, "PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS." and flicks the doors closing sound a bunch of times until the train starts moving again.

but the best kind of Metro operator, the kind we had that fateful day, is the "teaching" metro operator. Here is a transcription of what the metro operator said:

"PLEASE STAND CLEAR OF THE DOORS. CUSTOMERS ON THE PLATFORM, PLEASE DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE SCREEN AND YOU WILL SEE THAT THERE IS ANOTHER ORANGE LINE TRAIN ONE MINUTE BEHIND THIS TRAIN. ONE MINUTE. CUSTOMERS ON THE TRAIN, THIS TRAIN WILL NOT MOVE UNTIL ALL THE DOORS ARE CLOSED, IF I CANNOT GET THE DOORS CLOSED I WILL HAVE TO OFFLOAD THIS TRAIN."

it was great, it was like watching a dad scold his child. I was so happy.

By the time we arrived at Rosslyn Station the train was PACKED full of people. Rosslyn is where a lot of people get on and a lot of people get off, and since no one talks on the metro, this is always a tricky station to overcome. so on this particular morning, on a particularly packed train, people were particularly pissed. As the train came to a stop, one of the ladies that was sitting behind us got up and yelled--literally yelled, "EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GET OUT, GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR PEOPLE. EXCUSE ME!" There was this guy in the door but he wasn't really in the way, and the chick who shhh'd us earlier mumbled under her breath, "he probably doesn't speak english" At this point sherwin whipped out the douchiest and most awesome comment I've ever heard in awhile: "it's okay, she was fat. she was really, really fat. I understand." Geez sherwin I didn't know you had it in ya. but for all you people who think sherwin sucks now you're wrong. I mean this woman was not small, and the dude wasn't really in the way.

That was our morning metro ride. but the fun didn't stop there.

on the way back I was by myself in another cramped car, just trying to make it home. it was a long day and I was ready for chillin. and this dude definitely let a huge fart go right before he got off the train. directly next to me. I mean it was lit up. I was actually impressed. but he's still a jerk.

Emcee MC

Flatlined

2009-03-04T10:39:00.006-05:00

Last night Luke Rabin and I went to Buffalo Wing Factory in Chantilly to partake in their famous Flatliner challenge. These wings are made with a mixture of scotch bonnet peppers and mace. They are largely inedible, apart from the context of this challenge and no one without a proven resume of spicy eating should even attempt to eat these for fun. You will be humbled.

Luke and I along with my friend Janelle arived around 9PM where we met my other friends Scott and Adam. We sat down and a waiter stopped by to take our order. Luke immediately announced in proud declaration "I am doing the flatliner challenge. Can I have some milk and water" The waiter came back a few minute later and apologized for the restaurant running out of milk. Things looked grim but we trudged foward. I settled for water. Luke quickly got up and told the table "I need to get dressed." and the table responded with looks of puzzled confusion.

Luke comes back a few minutes later in a red bandanna and trucker style muscle shirt. The clearly jaded wait staff is not amused. Our waitress comes back with our orders and she puts down the Flatliners before our eyes, and immediately the smell hits...and hits. We winced in pain.

To the naked eye they look like any other restaurant hot wing entree. But to the open nostril they reek of death and descruction. My entire life flashed before my very eyes and I suddenly realized that I had not achieved everything I wanted to do with my life. This was the smell of life assessing contemplation, which is the best kind. It reaches far beyond supercilious notions of self awareness, and moves you to a place of self sacrifice and brings you one step closer to the grandeur of the sublime. If Luke and I could get through 10 wings, our lives would be changed forever. We started our journey.

The first bite is not so bad, even the second and third. "These aren't so bad," Luke commented.
It's when the scotch bonnet peppers and mace are introduced to your body and are invited to its innermost sanctums, given a drink and a leather chair and a leather bound book and then allowed to settle in, that is when chaos hits. When chaos hits your body, the first result is knowledge of pain, then the pain intensifies, and the aftermath is usually fear. This is what separates the brave, from the cowardly, and proves the genuineness of the desire of the targeted goal. Do you want it? We wanted it.

After wing 4# Luke and I were ready to call it quits. Our bodies were screaming mutiny and our own sweat was starting to burn our skin. My vision was blurred from the tears that burned out of my eyes. My mouth felt like I had just gargled with tiny needles and then swallowed. Luke fared no better and paced around the restaurant, unable to sit still. The wait staff looked at us in horror. They brought a trashcan and put it beside Luke's chair in the event of vomiting.

This is where Luke and I diverged on wildly different paths. Luke chose to go outside and finish his meal by a trashcan outside, unable to keep down 1 out of every 3 bites. I have run marathons and was on the crew team for almost two years. I know pain. And I know that it can be overcome most times by denial. You focus on a goal, and you deny the pain until it is completed, and you deal with the repurrcussions later. I chose to get it over with and eat the rest in quick succession. The last bite felt like a mixture of relief and the realization that the pain had only just begun. Victory was mine, but the results made it hollow. The goal was completed, yet the results had to catch up. I immediately began shaking in cold sweat and was unable to stop for the next few minutes.

Meanwhile Luke was inching towards the goal, barely able to maintain or swallow the food. Frustration and anger set in, but his determination only grew. He soon finished and we returned to the horror of the wait staff. The materialism of our self awareness returned and we acquiesced. Our selfish epiphanies drowned in a lake of fire, self sacrifice turned into survival. And we realized we couldn't save the world and that we were needy. We were exactly where we were suppose to be, and that we just needed to keep on moving. To be consistent through the pain, because someday, if you live it right, others will depend on you when they are needy. And if we let it, we can move out of denial towards the embrace of assurance, that pain is only a season, but the glory of the sublime will heal your wounds forever. We drank our water with joy.

-Sher

*Luke only puked once if you count a series of pukes in succession one puke.

Shiloh's Cereal Bowls are Absurd

2009-03-01T15:34:00.018-05:00

I am a huge cereal fan.

oh yes, it's no secret. I love cereal! In fact, I eat so much cereal (between two and five bowls per sitting) that if I were to average out my cereal consumption, it would likely come to about two bowls of cereal for every day I have been living on This Green Earth. When I eat cereal I like to concurrently indulge in fine reading. I know what you're thinking. The only example of fine reading you can come up with is Calvin and Hobbes, supplemented solely by The Far Side Gallery 4, which is precisely what I read when I eat cereal! The Calvin and Hobbes/cereal combo is unstoppable. I mostly eat the classics: Pops, Golden Grahams, Frosted Flakes, Trix, and my personal favorite, Fruity Pebbles. But (and this is a verifiable fact) I cannot physically resist getting the newest cereals:

*at Safeway*
Jon: hey Nathan c'mon let's go you've been standing in the cereal aisle for 10 minutes, we've gotta pay for this stuff and get back to Shiloh.
Nathan: Well why don't YOU try to make a decision when you're faced with Lucky Charms or the New Golden Frosted Flakes! This is hard!!
Jon: guh. *walks away shaking head*

So anyway, it stands to reason that, enjoying the experience of eating cereal as much as I do, I'd need the hardware to match my consumption. You have to start thinking not only about WHAT you're eating, but HOW you're eating it. I'll give an example. When you eat Frosted Mini-Wheats, you don't need a deep spoon, because Frosted Mini-Wheats soaks up a ton of milk. The mini-wheat itself is the milk reservoir. if you use a deep spoon you're going to have too much milk per spoonful, resulting in an unpleasant cereal-eating experience. The cereal bowl similarly needs to fit certain criteria. If your bowl is too shallow, you won't be able to add enough milk, if it's too deep you'll get too much milk, and if the circumference is below a certain threshold, you won't be able to pour enough cereal to have a decent meal.

so tell me, why am I dealing with THIS------>
every day?

I don't know if you can tell from the picture or not, but this bowl has the walls of Jericho. That's right, I can't see over the edge, that's how high these bowls are. Impossible to eat cereal out of. you can never be quite sure whether or not you've put in too much milk or too much cereal. These are the Bowls of Shiloh, just another reason this house rules so much!! We have about 50 of these things. They look great, they feel nice, but they pretty much suck for eating cereal out of. And there's no decent alternative, so until I get off my lazy butt and pick up a few cool bowls from the local thrift store, I'll have to subject myself to these oversized chinese teacups. guh.

At this point I know what you're thinking: "Nathan stop complaining; at least you have cool spoons to eat cereal with." Oh, really? Have you been over here? Do you even know who I am? Have you looked at your misshapen bowl of cereal, wondering how it could get any worse, only to realize that
THESE THINGS---->
are all you have to work with?

I'm not sure if you can tell, but this spoon is flat. 100%. Flat. Imagine trying to eat cereal out of a bowl thats main purpose is grinding herbs, struggling against all odds to get any inkling of milk to water the parched tongue, only to realize you're using an undersized aluminum spatula. It's like in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie when the turtles are all in April's antique store getting the crap kicked out of them by the Foot when suddenly Master Tatsu flips on the light switch and rolls in with like 100 more Foot Clan with axes. "Someone should tell them...we're the good guys." That's the level of frustration we're dealing with here.

I'd like to close with some wisdom I've picked up over the years.
1.) Spend money on the things and people you appreciate.
2.) Devote time to learning all you can.
3.) Stop being so lazy and effing do something with your life.
4.) Hang out with people.
5.) Jesus is the reason I am alive right now, and if you knew what I knew, you would want to know him too.
6.) Cereal is awesome.

My last request is this: if anyone reading this gets the chance to throw down on some Lucky Charms anytime soon, do it, because I sure as H E double-chopsticks won't be able to.

with love, wishing I could sit down and eat some effing cereal,
Emcee Mission Control

The Mysterious Force

2009-02-26T20:42:00.004-05:00

Let's talk about this morning, shall we, Sherwin?

So it's 7:20 AM, and I look through the window to a cloudy morning. Looking forward to a nice shower. I know I've got a big day ahead, and for a lot of reasons it's important that I smell decent. So I hop in the shower, wash my hair, make absolutely sure there is no stank about me. I hop out, dry off, brush my teeth, shave, and really make sure everything's ship-shape. Toss on some deodorant, throw on some of my best cologne, and walk out of the bathroom.

hold up.

something smelled nasty. like, really rank. I kept trying to walk away from it but it kept following me and I'm like what the H is going on? So I'm walking around gathering what I need for the day. Things like my backpack, jacket, things like that. all the while I can't figure out what smells so disgusting. Sherwin was pretty much ready to roll, just waiting for me to get my crap together so we could drive over to the metro. I decided not to eat anything before we left since we were already late; we walked to the car and started driving.

but the stench was still following me.

The whole ride to the metro I would only get casual whiffs of it...nothing really in my face, so I figured that whatever it was couldn't have been coming from the front side of me. I figured maybe I had stepped in something, but it didn't smell like dog poop or anything like that; what it smelled like was unshowered gross human feet. My shoes were on and tied tight and while I'm not the most hygienic person, I would say that my feet probably smelled great. So I pretty much ruled out my feet. Sherwin's feet seemed alright, I mean he had shoes on. So I kinda looked around the car a little bit but then remembered how I smelled it at Shiloh, not just in the car.

basically, I was baffled. And I was kinda freaked out, because I mean I needed to not smell gross today, and this was like an unknown biological terrorist strike to my person. Freaky.

So we parked at the metro parking deck and walked down to the station. All the while I'm trying to figure the freaking crap out. we went through the turnstile or whatever they call those metro things and grab a window and an aisle seat on the metro. we both put our bags on our laps. I notice that I'm carrying a backpack and sherwin is carrying his work bag.

immediately the stench returned. What follows is the conversation that occurred directly after we sat down:

Nathan: Sherwin, what is that smell?!
Sherwin: What smell?
Nathan: what do you mean what smell?! the smell that has been following us since Shiloh!!
Sherwin: I don't smell anything.
Nathan: no way dude, I'm going crazy. something is definitely after us. I am going to figure this out.

...

Nathan: ...sherwin what's in your bag?
Sherwin: oh you mean pandora?
Nathan: pandora? your bag's name is PANDORA?
Sherwin: dude you don't want to open that.
Nathan: YES, I DO WANT TO EFFING OPEN IT.
Sherwin: ooookayyyy...*opens the bag*
Nathan: SHERWIN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THERE??
Sherwin: oh, just my workout clothes. *looks around in the bag, finds a couple of shirts and running shoes*
Nathan: your running shoes are in there?!?! holy CRAP that is FOUL dude!! close that bag!
Sherwin: I told you...
Nathan: wait a second. open the bag again... ...SHERWIN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.
Sherwin: what?
Nathan: is that the NIKON CAMERA I LET YOU BORROW THAT'S NOT EVEN MINE??
Sherwin: I wrapped it in a clean t-shirt!
Nathan: SHERWIN!! YOU CAN'T PUT A CAMERA LIKE THAT IN A BAG WITH THAT MUCH STENCH!!! IT'S NOT EVEN MINE!!
Sherwin: I mean...
Nathan: why am I even letting you borrow it??
Sherwin: ...it's fine.
Nathan: gross, Sherwin. freaking get a new bag. that is so foul, I want to throw up. you're never taking that camera in that bag again. I will be in so much trouble if that camera smells like your shoes.

Just another day on the road to DC.

Shiloh is Quiet Sometimes Apparently

2009-02-25T22:18:00.004-05:00

*shhhh....

*whispering:

it's really quiet here. sherwin's out at small group and Jon's downstairs reading something. probably CS Lewis or JRR Tolkien or something else English. I've been trying to mix some beats and clean my room a little...

Me, Ross, Vinny, and John Martin have all been listening to The Pains of Being Pure at Heart recently and basically going crazy over how awesome this band is. So of course I'm like JON JON YOU HAVE TO HEAR THIS BAND THEY SOUND LIKE AN ENGLISH TYPE BAND AND YOU GUYS ARE INTO THIS STUFF RIGHT, and so I showed it to Jon and he says, "the drummer sucks." that's all you can say Jon? This band rules!!

Which leads us to Today's Lesson: "Don't hate; participate."

In other news, Vinny bought Subway yesterday which exploded in his car which made his car smell like Subway, which I find hilarious. Also, Sherwin's room still smells like ferrets.

k thx cya

Nathan Sucks at Life

2009-02-25T00:36:00.007-05:00

For all of you out there who think they suck at life, for those of you that think you are really mean to people, you are wrong. I am a sucky crappy person and a big douche. Andrew Gibbons has experienced my "accidental douchiness," where I don't mean to come across as douchy but I totally am. sorry about that andrew. but seriously. I got that note you see above today because I was being totally rude. and on top of it I gotta deal with this all the time:

and this:
my room + my life is in total disarray.

Shiloh works

2009-02-24T14:14:00.003-05:00

Hello everyone. This is Sher checking in. Shiloh works during the day. This is an example of what we do at work.

Vinny: go

sherwin i want to be on you

me: no you dont thats a lie

i am covered in needles anyway

me: i wonder if i could watch one movie everyday

Nathan: yeah

do it

me: but its hard enough getting up at 730

man that sucks

i slept past my cell alarm for 20 min

Nathan: yeah

same

almost 40 for me

Sent at 2:14 PM on Tuesday

Greta: i've been listening to a lot of rap lately

Oh You Think you Have a Blog? Well Have You Heard of The Shiloh Rant?

2009-02-23T22:47:00.009-05:00

I just ate two cadbury's creme eggs and this hot pocket, along with this hot pocket's companion hot pocket------>

That doesn't matter. What matters is that I am full, which leads us to our Cast of Characters!

THE ROOMATES:

Jon Crocker aka Jonoline aka Roomate #1: liason to the Landlord, dater of Mrs. Jones, leaver out of food all night #1, ridiculously english, makes fun of you if you don't eat goat cheese and pear wrapped w/prociutto, resident of the Shiloh basement, holder of the precious keys to The Millennium Falcon, listener of classical music at random times, hates it when Nathan uses the word "literally" literally all the time

Sherwin Valerio aka Asian aka Roomate #2: curiously asian, maker of poor edible/culinary decisions, lives in the room that smells like a ferret for some reason, winner of food contests involving extremely spicy/and or mass amounts of food, uncoordinated, leaver out of food at night #2, finds cleaning the house therapeudic, has literally seen every movie ever.

Nathan Mitchell aka MC Mission Control aka Roomate #3: consumer of mass quantities of cereal and virtually nothing else, listens to terrible music loud all the time, doesn't take showers often enough, shaves his beard at inconvenient times, dater of incongruously hot girls, leaver out of cereal during the day because he's late for work again, flawless gaydar

FRIENDS WHO MAY MAKE APPEARANCES FROM TIME TO TIME:

Ross aka Sketchy aka DJ Ark-Tak: Nathan and Ross met over an intense gametime decision to not see Beloved in Maryland their first night of freshmen year of college

Daniel Harlan aka Miracle Worker: this man rules at life, if you find him and capture him you may be able to convince him to teach you how to build a fire using nothing but tracing paper and a pilot precise v5 pen

Vinny aka DJ Leather Interior: A very talented richmondian graphic designer, who was tragically born without a personality

Caroline aka Way Cooler than Jon aka Mrs. Jones: teacher of the children, dates Jon, possesser of red hair, did we mention that Jon sucks compared to Caroline?

Monica + Katie aka The Terrible Two: somehow they find their way into our house even when all the doors are locked, and then they won't leave. help!

There you have it. Enjoy the blog, and read it every day or I will hunt you. You don't want to know the story behind this: