The Mysterious Force

Let's talk about this morning, shall we, Sherwin?


So it's 7:20 AM, and I look through the window to a cloudy morning. Looking forward to a nice shower. I know I've got a big day ahead, and for a lot of reasons it's important that I smell decent. So I hop in the shower, wash my hair, make absolutely sure there is no stank about me. I hop out, dry off, brush my teeth, shave, and really make sure everything's ship-shape. Toss on some deodorant, throw on some of my best cologne, and walk out of the bathroom.

hold up.

something smelled nasty. like, really rank. I kept trying to walk away from it but it kept following me and I'm like what the H is going on? So I'm walking around gathering what I need for the day. Things like my backpack, jacket, things like that. all the while I can't figure out what smells so disgusting. Sherwin was pretty much ready to roll, just waiting for me to get my crap together so we could drive over to the metro. I decided not to eat anything before we left since we were already late; we walked to the car and started driving.

but the stench was still following me.

The whole ride to the metro I would only get casual whiffs of it...nothing really in my face, so I figured that whatever it was couldn't have been coming from the front side of me. I figured maybe I had stepped in something, but it didn't smell like dog poop or anything like that; what it smelled like was unshowered gross human feet. My shoes were on and tied tight and while I'm not the most hygienic person, I would say that my feet probably smelled great. So I pretty much ruled out my feet. Sherwin's feet seemed alright, I mean he had shoes on. So I kinda looked around the car a little bit but then remembered how I smelled it at Shiloh, not just in the car.

basically, I was baffled. And I was kinda freaked out, because I mean I needed to not smell gross today, and this was like an unknown biological terrorist strike to my person. Freaky.

So we parked at the metro parking deck and walked down to the station. All the while I'm trying to figure the freaking crap out. we went through the turnstile or whatever they call those metro things and grab a window and an aisle seat on the metro. we both put our bags on our laps. I notice that I'm carrying a backpack and sherwin is carrying his work bag.

immediately the stench returned. What follows is the conversation that occurred directly after we sat down:

Nathan: Sherwin, what is that smell?!
Sherwin: What smell?
Nathan: what do you mean what smell?! the smell that has been following us since Shiloh!!
Sherwin: I don't smell anything.
Nathan: no way dude, I'm going crazy. something is definitely after us. I am going to figure this out.

...

Nathan: ...sherwin what's in your bag?
Sherwin: oh you mean pandora?
Nathan: pandora? your bag's name is PANDORA?
Sherwin: dude you don't want to open that.
Nathan: YES, I DO WANT TO EFFING OPEN IT.
Sherwin: ooookayyyy...*opens the bag*
Nathan: SHERWIN, WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THERE??
Sherwin: oh, just my workout clothes. *looks around in the bag, finds a couple of shirts and running shoes*
Nathan: your running shoes are in there?!?! holy CRAP that is FOUL dude!! close that bag!
Sherwin: I told you...
Nathan: wait a second. open the bag again... ...SHERWIN I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.
Sherwin: what?
Nathan: is that the NIKON CAMERA I LET YOU BORROW THAT'S NOT EVEN MINE??
Sherwin: I wrapped it in a clean t-shirt!
Nathan: SHERWIN!! YOU CAN'T PUT A CAMERA LIKE THAT IN A BAG WITH THAT MUCH STENCH!!! IT'S NOT EVEN MINE!!
Sherwin: I mean...
Nathan: why am I even letting you borrow it??
Sherwin: ...it's fine.
Nathan: gross, Sherwin. freaking get a new bag. that is so foul, I want to throw up. you're never taking that camera in that bag again. I will be in so much trouble if that camera smells like your shoes.


Just another day on the road to DC.