Lunch Review #2: Philly Cheese Steak from Breadline

This is the last effing time I will let sherwin make a decision for me.

Sherwin, after getting cheese steaks for his birthday dinner at Al's Steakhouse in Alexandria last week (which was really good), has gone on a frantic search for the best cheese steak in town, eating cheese steaks everywhere--Subway, Quiznos, and now, BREADLINE. He called me up and we decided to head over there for lunch on a hot Monday afternoon.

for those of you who don't know, Breadline is a new restaurant that opened up on Penn. Ave. You won't be able to glean any information other than that from their website, however, which is literally the crappiest and most uninformative website I have ever seen: http://thebreadlinedc.blogspot.com/

seriously.

on to the review:
The Food: Philly Cheese Steak (a monday-only special) and fries:
The Place: Breadline, 1751 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC
The Price: $11.50
The Pre-Lunch Vibe: I hadn't had anything to eat for 24 straight hours. I had Crisp & Juicy with William, a few cheetos here and there, and that was it. no breakfast, no dinner the night before. So I was starving and would pretty much eat whatever was put in front of me. Sherwin, on the other hand, doesn't usually even eat during the day, but really really wanted to try this cheese steak from Breadline because he had heard good things.
The Verdict: let's start off with the obvious. Does this:
look like a cheese steak to you?

no?

maybe that's because it's NOT:
Nathan: What is this thing?
Sherwin: it has some kind of ketchup on it
Nathan: ...it's...not THAT bad...
Sherwin: I feel like I'm eating beef stew on bread.

It was okay. It did the job of filling me up. The ingredients seemed fresh and the bread was pretty good, but...something about it coming together was just wrong.

Which is when we looked around and saw, easily, one of the douchiest and most pretentious sandwich restaurants in the Metro area. It's super open, carries fine bottled water, obscure root beer (Sprecher's Root Beer...elevation burger does it better. You can't fool me, Breadline. I am the root beer commander), has pictures of various people baking or eating bread from the 1940s, and their pizza, I swear to you, is the size of a DVD. To reference South Park, Sherwin and I both almost died from all the Smug in the air. All the people in there were LOVING it. Yuppie headquarters.

Nathan: this place...sucks.
Sherwin: I hate it in here.
Nathan: it's...horrible.
Sherwin: I am never coming here again.

The thing that really bothered me, in particular, was that they made no effort whatsoever to cover up their pretentiousness. it just sucked. Redeeming factor: the fries were pretty good.

but not enough to give it a grade above a big, fat F.

And so, the question you're all begging to ask: "should I go to Breadline for lunch?"

Sherwin + Nathan say NO!



Sherwin: it is a CRIME to call this a Philly cheese steak.