This is how we ride

Shiloh rides the metro everyday. There are rules to follow even if they are unsaid. They are obvious to anyone that pays attention to their surroundings and tries to respect their fellow man. Any sense of entitlement you think you have to personal space and comfort is null and void. I took the train to the Cherry Blossom Festival this weekend and obverved many of these rules being broken. If you come on a weekday please learn these rules before you ride.

1. Those seats are for the handicapped and pregnant. Fine if you want to sit in them because you are too lazy to stand, but when you see a pregnant woman or an old man with a cane, kindly get up and give them your seat. Being inconsiderate is not a handicap. Inconsiderate people do have a seat though, but it's in hell.

2. Stop eating or keep your food in the fridge. I do not care what you are eating for lunch or dinner. So please do not give me any clues by bringing your bag full of chinese food or your 3 day old sandwich on the train for everyone to smell. You aren't even allowed to eat or drink on the metro anyway. I don't want to step on your crumbs or see your gross mustard stains on the seat. And at the very least that better be mustard. You can either A) Finish your food before you get on B) Wait to eat when you get off or C) Keep it in your bag

3. Move to the middle. There is a lot of space in the middle. Like, a lot. There's ample pole hold ons and you might even snag a seat. You don't need to crowd the ends we can all ride together. It's ok you can party in the middle.

4. Don't block the doorway. If it is crowded step outside. Don't be afraid if you are not an idiot the train will not leave without you. Let people out, we don't need to climb over your lifeless selfish body. When everyone is out theeen get back on, you might even find a seat so you don't have to be a boulder.

5. Take off your stupid bag. If you are standing take off your backpack. It keeps hitting me and knocking me into the wall. What do you even keep in there to make it so big anyway? Put it on the floor and stand above it.

6. Be polite. Listen all you have to say is excuse me and I will get out of your way. You don't need to push me or knock me out of the way. I didn't mean to block your way, in fact I would enjoy the extra room when you leave. I want you to leave. Give me some kind of signal whats wrong with you.

7. Wait for people to leave before you enter. We are all not off yet so wait. Especially if you have a stroller. Just because you have a baby does not give you special access to mow people down with your death machine. We all get what we want, you get on and I get off. Let it happen.

8. I can hear your music and it is not very good. This is not a concert this is the metro. I don't want to hear your country music in the morning or your Daft Punk when I'm still groggy. No one wants to hear your Miley Cyrus, and what are you doing anyway, you are a 40 year old man. If you need the volume to be all the way up on a quiet metro maybe you should stop listening to your device and see an ear doctor.

9. Two people can sit in that seat. I don't care if you had a hard day, so did I. Scoot ever. There is no special selfish HOV sitting. If you have to sit on the end because your stop is close then just stand.

10. Be the boss of your children. I don't need to see your daughter practicing for her future occupation as a pole dancer. And your son almost kicked me in the face attempting a failed pull up which will represent all his life's future failures because you could not keep him in line.

-S