1. Cereal in a metal bowl used for baking large cakes
2. Hot pockets on a paper towel
3. Ramen in tupperware
4. Rippled potato chips in hand and ranch dip in case
5. Large family lasagna dinner in its original container
6. Peanut Butter on a spoon with multiple slices of bread in lap
7. Wine in a pint glass and sardines from the can
8. Eggs, scrambled, microwaved, in container of finished family lasagna dinner
9. popcorn in bag doled out to be eaten in bowl
10. Vienna sausages from the can
-S
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Passing the Time on the Metro #1: Train Hopping
Sometimes the distance between point A and point B can get very tedious. You can twiddle your thumbs and stare yourself into insanity. Believe me, I have done it many times before and it is not enjoyable. Sometimes you have to get up and take charge of your own life and realize that you do not have to put up with this.
The metro can be a long ride.
The first activity in this series is something I have recently discovered. It is called train hopping. It harkens back to the days of freighthopping which is the practice of covertly hitching a free ride on a railroad freight car. Migrant workers use to do this in the old days because they were unable to find affordable transportation.
Freight hopping today is extremely dangerous because conditions inside the car can be severe based on weather, as well as reported dangers from other freighthoppers who may be ex-cons or other violent undesireables.
Trainhopping the DC metro has all of the thrill, but the only severe danger is potentially being late for your activity.
Yesterday after work I barely caught my rain and made it through the doors as it closed on my bag. I was on the very last train. I wanted to be somewhere in the middle so at the next stop I decided to get off and move as far as I could up. Around Farrugut West I quickly manuevered my way past crowds, being careful not to knock people over, and barely made it to the next train, again the doors closing on my bag, adrenaline was surging through me. At Foggy Bottom I got off and managed to move up two cars.
The most important thing is to keep your ears open for the 'doors closing' warning sound. You can play it safe moving up one car at a time, but it is possible with two. I played by my own personal honor system and left at the door I came in, although if you want you can move up in your train to make hopping easier.
Another factor you have to keep in mind is manuevering the crowd. At some points you might be going against crowd traffic which can get intense, just be careful not to mow anyone down, and keep small children in your peripheral.
If you have a longer ride and you make it to the front, you can just work your way back. With two or more people the adrenaline factor goes up considerably, but remember there is danger of losing your friends and challengers.
Trainhopping can be an enjoyable experience and is a good equivalent if you missed your gym workout that day. Bring an extra undershirt if you choose to do this in the morning.
Don't worry, you'll be there in no time.
-Sher
The metro can be a long ride.
The first activity in this series is something I have recently discovered. It is called train hopping. It harkens back to the days of freighthopping which is the practice of covertly hitching a free ride on a railroad freight car. Migrant workers use to do this in the old days because they were unable to find affordable transportation.
Freight hopping today is extremely dangerous because conditions inside the car can be severe based on weather, as well as reported dangers from other freighthoppers who may be ex-cons or other violent undesireables.
Trainhopping the DC metro has all of the thrill, but the only severe danger is potentially being late for your activity.
Yesterday after work I barely caught my rain and made it through the doors as it closed on my bag. I was on the very last train. I wanted to be somewhere in the middle so at the next stop I decided to get off and move as far as I could up. Around Farrugut West I quickly manuevered my way past crowds, being careful not to knock people over, and barely made it to the next train, again the doors closing on my bag, adrenaline was surging through me. At Foggy Bottom I got off and managed to move up two cars.
The most important thing is to keep your ears open for the 'doors closing' warning sound. You can play it safe moving up one car at a time, but it is possible with two. I played by my own personal honor system and left at the door I came in, although if you want you can move up in your train to make hopping easier.
Another factor you have to keep in mind is manuevering the crowd. At some points you might be going against crowd traffic which can get intense, just be careful not to mow anyone down, and keep small children in your peripheral.
If you have a longer ride and you make it to the front, you can just work your way back. With two or more people the adrenaline factor goes up considerably, but remember there is danger of losing your friends and challengers.
Trainhopping can be an enjoyable experience and is a good equivalent if you missed your gym workout that day. Bring an extra undershirt if you choose to do this in the morning.
Don't worry, you'll be there in no time.
-Sher
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Spring Cleaning
Every house has to do it. You gotta clean. You gotta get in there and scrub down the sink and mop the floors and clean that crap up.
However. This becomes difficult when your house is covered in filth.
That's right, virtually every room in Shiloh seems like FEMA's going to bust in with some man in a suit and a hardhat yelling, "THIS IS OUR JURISDICTION!" and start setting up Cranes and Support Teams and Infrastructure, mercilessly barking orders at some 22 year-old intern who joined FEMA so he could "help people recover" and now all he's doing is fetching coffee and doughnuts for some douchebag in a suit, soon to be so jaded by all the governmental red tape involved with disaster relief that he quits after four years, starts a nonprofit disaster relief organization with the goal of getting much-needed supplies to hard-hit areas, only to be swindled by a con artist masquerading as a ex-Peace Corps volunteer, reducing the poor man's life to a hollow shell, and as he looks back on the lie his life has become he thinks back to that fateful day when the pressures of the working world forced him into nonexistence...that day at Shiloh, epicenter of the world's conflict.
I'm kidding. But seriously. This place is a disaster. We've got beds in random places around the house, I've still got some stuff from when I moved in on the living room couches, there's beer bottles and empty potato chip bags in the basement, the sink again overflows with plates, dishes, and glasses, the bathroom's gross, the master bedroom is a disaster zone with random pieces of furniture + sherwin's shoes + other assorted clothing items lying around in there, the kitchen area needs a massive scrubdown w/mop, Jon's room has crap all over it, and the laundry room is...I don't even want to go there (let's just say we do everything in our power to transfer clothes from the dryer to our laundry bags without letting them drop on the floor), and to top it all off Sherwin's room still smells like ferrets.
It's also difficult to do Spring cleaning when SPRING IS 35 EFFING DEGREES.
So we're cleaning Shiloh over the course of the next day + 1/2, and it will be spotless. At least, that's what we keep telling ourselves.
In other news:
1) a Cadence/Prisms Split Acoustic EP is in the works!!! More details to follow, but I can tell you that the plan is for studio sessions to begin in 2 weeks. Excited!!
2) South Park last night was potentially the greatest south park.
3) Sherwin, Nate, Monica, Katie, and David are HORRIFYINGLY LAME for flaking out completely on me and Vinny's trip to Amphora's last night. A NAP, sherwin? gimme a break. we're not friends anymore. ever! also the cereal is left out so that I can pour it faster next time.
4) Where the Wild Things Are has the potential of being the most epic and incredible movie ever. Watch the trailer and prepare to be amazed.
GO UNC!!!
-Nathan
However. This becomes difficult when your house is covered in filth.
That's right, virtually every room in Shiloh seems like FEMA's going to bust in with some man in a suit and a hardhat yelling, "THIS IS OUR JURISDICTION!" and start setting up Cranes and Support Teams and Infrastructure, mercilessly barking orders at some 22 year-old intern who joined FEMA so he could "help people recover" and now all he's doing is fetching coffee and doughnuts for some douchebag in a suit, soon to be so jaded by all the governmental red tape involved with disaster relief that he quits after four years, starts a nonprofit disaster relief organization with the goal of getting much-needed supplies to hard-hit areas, only to be swindled by a con artist masquerading as a ex-Peace Corps volunteer, reducing the poor man's life to a hollow shell, and as he looks back on the lie his life has become he thinks back to that fateful day when the pressures of the working world forced him into nonexistence...that day at Shiloh, epicenter of the world's conflict.
I'm kidding. But seriously. This place is a disaster. We've got beds in random places around the house, I've still got some stuff from when I moved in on the living room couches, there's beer bottles and empty potato chip bags in the basement, the sink again overflows with plates, dishes, and glasses, the bathroom's gross, the master bedroom is a disaster zone with random pieces of furniture + sherwin's shoes + other assorted clothing items lying around in there, the kitchen area needs a massive scrubdown w/mop, Jon's room has crap all over it, and the laundry room is...I don't even want to go there (let's just say we do everything in our power to transfer clothes from the dryer to our laundry bags without letting them drop on the floor), and to top it all off Sherwin's room still smells like ferrets.
It's also difficult to do Spring cleaning when SPRING IS 35 EFFING DEGREES.
So we're cleaning Shiloh over the course of the next day + 1/2, and it will be spotless. At least, that's what we keep telling ourselves.
In other news:
1) a Cadence/Prisms Split Acoustic EP is in the works!!! More details to follow, but I can tell you that the plan is for studio sessions to begin in 2 weeks. Excited!!
2) South Park last night was potentially the greatest south park.
3) Sherwin, Nate, Monica, Katie, and David are HORRIFYINGLY LAME for flaking out completely on me and Vinny's trip to Amphora's last night. A NAP, sherwin? gimme a break. we're not friends anymore. ever! also the cereal is left out so that I can pour it faster next time.
4) Where the Wild Things Are has the potential of being the most epic and incredible movie ever. Watch the trailer and prepare to be amazed.
GO UNC!!!
-Nathan
Top 10 Reasons why you would hate Nathan
1. He is loud
2. Abercrombie Woods Cologne
3. Cereal boxes are left open
4. He goes to bed at 2AM and he wants you too as well
5. The bathroom is hairy
6. All the cereal bowls are in his room
7. He is jean pretentious
8. Bum smoker
9. Where's the milk?
10. Wear looser pants you are making me stumble
-anonymous
2. Abercrombie Woods Cologne
3. Cereal boxes are left open
4. He goes to bed at 2AM and he wants you too as well
5. The bathroom is hairy
6. All the cereal bowls are in his room
7. He is jean pretentious
8. Bum smoker
9. Where's the milk?
10. Wear looser pants you are making me stumble
-anonymous
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sometimes I like to move
Sher, checking in. I ran my 4th marathon in the last 7 months on Saturday, the Suntrust National Marathon. I didn't really train for this run this go round and my only goal was to enjoy the views and finish. What was nice about this race is that it was exclusively run in the city. I left around 530AM from Shiloh to catch the metro. I got there late due to delays from the crowd. I ended up starting the race late because of the long bathroom line, and only had 10 seconds to spare to cross the start line. Here are some highlights:
Miles 1-2: The weather was close to freezing and I worked mostly on keeping my hands from freezing. I almost tripped over a speed bump on E Capitol St.
Miles 2-4: I ran down Constitution. It was weird to run down it and not stop at any red lights. My shoes were old and noticed I could feel holes at the bottom. My hands were falling off. I drank way too much power aid and needed to drain the waters. I waved to a cop, she waved back. Score. I would wave to every cop I passed.
Miles 4-8: The sun was coming out, although it was cold in the shade. My right foot hurt so I started formulating a grocery list, to take my mind off pain. Adams Morgan looked skanky. The streets were covered in trash, and everything smelled like feces. And in typical AM neighborhood fashion I chugged two beers given by the crowd. The course was very hilly. Dupont Circle was a blur, I was too busy trying to keep my hands warm.
Miles 8-13: U St. was barren. I remember the tunnels during this stretch were a welcome relief. And the downhills didn't hurt either. I had to pee so I snuck behind a Jamaican Cuisine restaurant and peed on a wall. I saw many other runners peeing in random less conspicuous spots. All systems were a go. I met a guy from NY State and ran with him for about 2 miles. We talked about college and the weather. His son is in the same fraternity as me. I passed him when he stopped to stretch. At the end is where the half marathon runners and the full branched off. There wasn't many of us.
Miles 13-17: I drank way too much power aid and needed to pee again. I got in a line for a portajohn and some guy cut in line and stole my spot, but I heard puking so I let it go. We ran Constitution again. I tripped over the same speed bump I was sure of it. Some kid gave me a snickers bar. I was still going at a good pace.
Miles 17-22: We veered into the SW Harbor. I ran with a girl from North Carolina and we talked about restaurants. She was too slow I passed her after less than a mile. The Harbor looked nice I remember eating at the buffet when I was little. Pain was in my legs so I tried to keep loose and go faster. Some girl gave me twizzlers. I ate 3 while running and almost choked. I could never get that right. I followed a girl for 5 miles. She had a good pace. It's not stalking if it's during a race.
Miles 22-24: Anacostia is gorgeous. The neighborhood was very pretty and many locals were out. A guy in front of me waved to a local and the local responded, "I aint wavin at you bitch, put yo hand down." My leg was killing me and my foot was bleeding. I stopped at a corner and took off my socks and soaked up the blood and threw the socks on the sidewalk and ran barefoot. Running commando rules. The park was a long stretch. I ate a lot of jelly beans and m & m's at one stop for energy and it helped immensely.
Miles 24-26: My foot was still bleeding and it was seeping out of my shoe. Gross. I picked up speed to keep loose. I ate random twizzlers in the grass. They were still in the plastic. The last mile I made a mad dash to the finish. Some girl tried to race me, who I quickly disposed of. I finished with just over 4 hours. Kind of dissapointing. But theres always a next time.
Epilogue: In the past 48 hours I have eaten 5 hot dogs, 4 hamburgers, 2 steaks, 2 pizza bolis large cheese pizzas, a corndog, 3 burritos, a pot of spaghetti, and a pot of rice. Mayor Adrien Fenty beat me by 30 or 40 minutes. I am still hungry.
Miles 1-2: The weather was close to freezing and I worked mostly on keeping my hands from freezing. I almost tripped over a speed bump on E Capitol St.
Miles 2-4: I ran down Constitution. It was weird to run down it and not stop at any red lights. My shoes were old and noticed I could feel holes at the bottom. My hands were falling off. I drank way too much power aid and needed to drain the waters. I waved to a cop, she waved back. Score. I would wave to every cop I passed.
Miles 4-8: The sun was coming out, although it was cold in the shade. My right foot hurt so I started formulating a grocery list, to take my mind off pain. Adams Morgan looked skanky. The streets were covered in trash, and everything smelled like feces. And in typical AM neighborhood fashion I chugged two beers given by the crowd. The course was very hilly. Dupont Circle was a blur, I was too busy trying to keep my hands warm.
Miles 8-13: U St. was barren. I remember the tunnels during this stretch were a welcome relief. And the downhills didn't hurt either. I had to pee so I snuck behind a Jamaican Cuisine restaurant and peed on a wall. I saw many other runners peeing in random less conspicuous spots. All systems were a go. I met a guy from NY State and ran with him for about 2 miles. We talked about college and the weather. His son is in the same fraternity as me. I passed him when he stopped to stretch. At the end is where the half marathon runners and the full branched off. There wasn't many of us.
Miles 13-17: I drank way too much power aid and needed to pee again. I got in a line for a portajohn and some guy cut in line and stole my spot, but I heard puking so I let it go. We ran Constitution again. I tripped over the same speed bump I was sure of it. Some kid gave me a snickers bar. I was still going at a good pace.
Miles 17-22: We veered into the SW Harbor. I ran with a girl from North Carolina and we talked about restaurants. She was too slow I passed her after less than a mile. The Harbor looked nice I remember eating at the buffet when I was little. Pain was in my legs so I tried to keep loose and go faster. Some girl gave me twizzlers. I ate 3 while running and almost choked. I could never get that right. I followed a girl for 5 miles. She had a good pace. It's not stalking if it's during a race.
Miles 22-24: Anacostia is gorgeous. The neighborhood was very pretty and many locals were out. A guy in front of me waved to a local and the local responded, "I aint wavin at you bitch, put yo hand down." My leg was killing me and my foot was bleeding. I stopped at a corner and took off my socks and soaked up the blood and threw the socks on the sidewalk and ran barefoot. Running commando rules. The park was a long stretch. I ate a lot of jelly beans and m & m's at one stop for energy and it helped immensely.
Miles 24-26: My foot was still bleeding and it was seeping out of my shoe. Gross. I picked up speed to keep loose. I ate random twizzlers in the grass. They were still in the plastic. The last mile I made a mad dash to the finish. Some girl tried to race me, who I quickly disposed of. I finished with just over 4 hours. Kind of dissapointing. But theres always a next time.
Epilogue: In the past 48 hours I have eaten 5 hot dogs, 4 hamburgers, 2 steaks, 2 pizza bolis large cheese pizzas, a corndog, 3 burritos, a pot of spaghetti, and a pot of rice. Mayor Adrien Fenty beat me by 30 or 40 minutes. I am still hungry.
Vinny's New DJ Name
I changed the name of our blog. It is no longer The Shiloh Rant. It is now Teh Shiloh Blarghh! >:O DEAL WITH IT. This is just a post to tide all you little twitterers and what-have-yous over because there are some COOL EFFING POSTS coming real soon! So GET READY.
With that, I give you, "What me and Vinny do during work":
With that, I give you, "What me and Vinny do during work":
12:51 PM Vinny: NEW DJ NAME:
12:52 PM Dj Dutty Riddims
12:55 PM me: gross
dj slime on my shoes
12:56 PM Vinny: dj snot rocket
12:58 PM DUTTY RIDDIMS is my regge/311/sublime cover band scratch Dj name
1:07 PM me: hahahahahaha 1:09 PM czech out the new name of our blargh!
1:13 PM Vinny: TEH SHILOH BLEECHH
1:14 PM me: TAR SHILAR BLARRRRR!!!!!!!!
1:31 PM Vinny: TR SHRKLH BLRRRJJ!!!! 1:32 PM me: DURKA DURR!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Aggressive Note (A Response)
"Never attack, unless you know you can win."
-Grandpa Tanaka, 3 Ninjas
If the "past" in "pastsive" is supposed to be a clever play on words, you fail. If you were trying to spell aggressive then maybe you should have spelled that right too, before submitting nonsense for my perusal.
If you don't care about little things--like titles of blog posts--how can I believe that you care that much about Frosted Mini-Wheats? I'd give you an A for effort but this work is so slipshod and careless that I am forced to give you a big fat F.
Also, since when did you care about stale food? I seem to remember a story in which a steak was sitting in the freezer, exposed, for over a year, such that it turned a shade of BLUE, and you ate that. Am I lying? How many mornings have you eaten rice out of a pot Jon didn't even take off of the stove from the night before? How many times have I looked at you in bewilderment (and this is coming from a guy who will eat anything off the floor regardless of how long it's been there) as you make a plate of Chinese "food" (dog, jellyfish) left over from three weeks ago? Oh, hey, remember that loaf of bread with a huge amount of mold on it we found on top of the freezer a few days ago? Hold on, what were the three responses we had?
*Jon picks up loaf of bread*
Jon: GROSS guys what is this doing here??!
Nathan: I was gonna write a blog post about it. Leave it there.
Jon: I'm throwing this away, this is disgusting.
Sherwin: Just peel off the crust guys, it's still good!
You can't possibly care about stale cereal. Much less Frosted Mini-Wheats, because if you let them soak a little they become just as pliable and joyous as new. Also, I don't believe in stale cereal. Stale cereal is just (or almost) as good as regular cereal, to the point where I, the person who obsesses over how deep the spoon I'm using is and judges a cereal based on how good their commercials were in the '80s, don't mind one way or the other.
Get over it, woman. You suck at life.
-Nathan
p.s. sorry about leaving the Frosted Mini-Wheats out.
-Grandpa Tanaka, 3 Ninjas
If the "past" in "pastsive" is supposed to be a clever play on words, you fail. If you were trying to spell aggressive then maybe you should have spelled that right too, before submitting nonsense for my perusal.
If you don't care about little things--like titles of blog posts--how can I believe that you care that much about Frosted Mini-Wheats? I'd give you an A for effort but this work is so slipshod and careless that I am forced to give you a big fat F.
Also, since when did you care about stale food? I seem to remember a story in which a steak was sitting in the freezer, exposed, for over a year, such that it turned a shade of BLUE, and you ate that. Am I lying? How many mornings have you eaten rice out of a pot Jon didn't even take off of the stove from the night before? How many times have I looked at you in bewilderment (and this is coming from a guy who will eat anything off the floor regardless of how long it's been there) as you make a plate of Chinese "food" (dog, jellyfish) left over from three weeks ago? Oh, hey, remember that loaf of bread with a huge amount of mold on it we found on top of the freezer a few days ago? Hold on, what were the three responses we had?
*Jon picks up loaf of bread*
Jon: GROSS guys what is this doing here??!
Nathan: I was gonna write a blog post about it. Leave it there.
Jon: I'm throwing this away, this is disgusting.
Sherwin: Just peel off the crust guys, it's still good!
You can't possibly care about stale cereal. Much less Frosted Mini-Wheats, because if you let them soak a little they become just as pliable and joyous as new. Also, I don't believe in stale cereal. Stale cereal is just (or almost) as good as regular cereal, to the point where I, the person who obsesses over how deep the spoon I'm using is and judges a cereal based on how good their commercials were in the '80s, don't mind one way or the other.
Get over it, woman. You suck at life.
-Nathan
p.s. sorry about leaving the Frosted Mini-Wheats out.
pastsive agressive note
"It is sadder to find the past again and find it inadequate to the present than it is to have it elude you and remain forever a harmonious conception of memory."
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
Nathan, Frosted Mini Wheats is a delicious cereal. I remember it fondly when I first bought it. Inside its box contained many delicious grains of wheat bound into bite sized pieces with one side enveloped in sugary cherubic goodness. When I first opened the package and poured my precious contraband into my 'walls of jericho' bowl and took my first bite I was immediately transported to a blissful happier place filled with the intoxicating freedoms of juvenescence.
This morning I returned to my box and it was not quite the same. The wheat squares tasted of stale rotting corpses and the sugar I once loved merely gave the grain a sad glimmer of the state it once was. Oh how I lamented and deplored time's tenacity to turn beauty into homeliness and the pristine into corruption. Why couldn't it be like it once was? Why can't beauty be frozen in state so its tasty allure can be enjoyed only a week, months later?
I began to surmise a way to prevent this next time so that many future generations can enjoy the fruit of the past. And then an insightful conclusion expeditiously came to me like a moth to the flame burned by the fire.
Maybe you can close the effin box next time you jerk. Oh and buy us some milk or I will end you.
-Sher
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
Nathan, Frosted Mini Wheats is a delicious cereal. I remember it fondly when I first bought it. Inside its box contained many delicious grains of wheat bound into bite sized pieces with one side enveloped in sugary cherubic goodness. When I first opened the package and poured my precious contraband into my 'walls of jericho' bowl and took my first bite I was immediately transported to a blissful happier place filled with the intoxicating freedoms of juvenescence.
This morning I returned to my box and it was not quite the same. The wheat squares tasted of stale rotting corpses and the sugar I once loved merely gave the grain a sad glimmer of the state it once was. Oh how I lamented and deplored time's tenacity to turn beauty into homeliness and the pristine into corruption. Why couldn't it be like it once was? Why can't beauty be frozen in state so its tasty allure can be enjoyed only a week, months later?
I began to surmise a way to prevent this next time so that many future generations can enjoy the fruit of the past. And then an insightful conclusion expeditiously came to me like a moth to the flame burned by the fire.
Maybe you can close the effin box next time you jerk. Oh and buy us some milk or I will end you.
-Sher
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Horror Night at Shiloh
Many of you may not know this but Sherwin has seen every movie known to man. He's even seen Tom Green's Subway Monkey Hour which I thought I might have had him on, but then he remembered that actually he did see it. I've seen a lot of movies myself, and between the two of us we watch a WHOLE lot of movies. Like, Sherwin watches between an average of two and four movies a day, and still ends up having a life. I don't get it.
What I do get, however, is that we're both really into horror movies, and probably once or twice a week, we go downstairs to the horror lair. Armed with cereal + chocolate for me, and beer + Chinese food for Sherwin, we toss on a horror classic or movie we heard was really gory and get scared. We've already got some pretty crazy stories from our horror nights. Like the time we were watching Hostel and my nose started spontaneously bleeding during a torture scene, or how we watched Cold Prey (a Danish slasher movie) and when I told Todd Grabowsky he thought we were just making fun of an asian person trying to say they went to a Coldplay show, or how Sherwin watched Rogue (a B-movie about a giant crocodile) something like four times in a row one night because it was so good.
It's pretty sweet, and in terms of Horror genres, Shiloh has them all covered: Slasher, Classic Horror, Zombie, everything! It would be a great house for a slow-moving slasher-type movie because it's dark and has sharp corners and lots of little rooms. Actually that reminds me of the time me and Sherwin went to Tyson's AMC and watched the absolutely mind-numbingly terrible slasher-remake of Prom Night, and came out of the movie never wanting to see another movie again.
In terms of straight-up, Exorcist-type classic Horror the whole house is creaky and woodsy, and the downstairs smells like a recently-used fireplace (usually because Jon has recently used it) which instantly reminds me of Evil Dead every time I go down there. Which rules. The basement is pretty spacious but really dark when the lights are off--perfect for a horror movie--the kind of place you'd accidentally end up in while you were running barefoot through the woods from an Unknown Fear, only to be drawn into an end plot where a twist reveals that the Unknown Fear is, in reality, your own mind. You die a tragic death alone in the bathroom of the basement. Nail and teeth marks on the walls and floors indicate to the forensics team investigating the crime scene impossibly high levels of schitzophrenia, but they can't find a cause of death. It becomes a cold case at the Central Precinct and no one talks about it to this day.
But the best part is that I found THIS:
downstairs in the heart of the basement, right next to the washer and dryer. "What is that?" you might be asking. Well, it's a Zombie Hatchet. I'm a huge sucker for zombie movies, and I have to say that this discovery has not only made me extremely happy, but has also made me feel much more safe + secure, knowing that Jon, Sherwin, and I can successfully use the basement as a last stand against the zombie takeover, armed with Shiloh's old, partially-rusted-but-still-kinda-sharp zombie hatchet! I imagine us covered in zombie blood, all three of us struggling to keep the downstairs spare room door closed as countless undead push from the other side. As the window on the opposite side of the room is busted open, and a zombie's evil, pale, blood-spattered face recognizes food and with a shreak attempts to make his way in through the window, Sherwin takes the hatchet and with a triumphant "GYAAAAA!!!" brings the full force down on the zombie's head, destroying what's left of its rotted brain. More come after him. Swinging and hacking, it becomes clear that there are too many zombies to ward off, and as the movie fades to black the sound of "Ave Maria" is heard faintly over the snarling and growling. The fate of the residents of Shiloh--sealed forever in a tomb of wood and stone.
This house literally only gets cooler every day I'm in it.
What I do get, however, is that we're both really into horror movies, and probably once or twice a week, we go downstairs to the horror lair. Armed with cereal + chocolate for me, and beer + Chinese food for Sherwin, we toss on a horror classic or movie we heard was really gory and get scared. We've already got some pretty crazy stories from our horror nights. Like the time we were watching Hostel and my nose started spontaneously bleeding during a torture scene, or how we watched Cold Prey (a Danish slasher movie) and when I told Todd Grabowsky he thought we were just making fun of an asian person trying to say they went to a Coldplay show, or how Sherwin watched Rogue (a B-movie about a giant crocodile) something like four times in a row one night because it was so good.
It's pretty sweet, and in terms of Horror genres, Shiloh has them all covered: Slasher, Classic Horror, Zombie, everything! It would be a great house for a slow-moving slasher-type movie because it's dark and has sharp corners and lots of little rooms. Actually that reminds me of the time me and Sherwin went to Tyson's AMC and watched the absolutely mind-numbingly terrible slasher-remake of Prom Night, and came out of the movie never wanting to see another movie again.
In terms of straight-up, Exorcist-type classic Horror the whole house is creaky and woodsy, and the downstairs smells like a recently-used fireplace (usually because Jon has recently used it) which instantly reminds me of Evil Dead every time I go down there. Which rules. The basement is pretty spacious but really dark when the lights are off--perfect for a horror movie--the kind of place you'd accidentally end up in while you were running barefoot through the woods from an Unknown Fear, only to be drawn into an end plot where a twist reveals that the Unknown Fear is, in reality, your own mind. You die a tragic death alone in the bathroom of the basement. Nail and teeth marks on the walls and floors indicate to the forensics team investigating the crime scene impossibly high levels of schitzophrenia, but they can't find a cause of death. It becomes a cold case at the Central Precinct and no one talks about it to this day.
But the best part is that I found THIS:
downstairs in the heart of the basement, right next to the washer and dryer. "What is that?" you might be asking. Well, it's a Zombie Hatchet. I'm a huge sucker for zombie movies, and I have to say that this discovery has not only made me extremely happy, but has also made me feel much more safe + secure, knowing that Jon, Sherwin, and I can successfully use the basement as a last stand against the zombie takeover, armed with Shiloh's old, partially-rusted-but-still-kinda-sharp zombie hatchet! I imagine us covered in zombie blood, all three of us struggling to keep the downstairs spare room door closed as countless undead push from the other side. As the window on the opposite side of the room is busted open, and a zombie's evil, pale, blood-spattered face recognizes food and with a shreak attempts to make his way in through the window, Sherwin takes the hatchet and with a triumphant "GYAAAAA!!!" brings the full force down on the zombie's head, destroying what's left of its rotted brain. More come after him. Swinging and hacking, it becomes clear that there are too many zombies to ward off, and as the movie fades to black the sound of "Ave Maria" is heard faintly over the snarling and growling. The fate of the residents of Shiloh--sealed forever in a tomb of wood and stone.
This house literally only gets cooler every day I'm in it.
Lists
Room Ferret's Top 10 Movies of All Time:
1. Annie Hall
2. Die Hard
3. Singin' in the Rain
4. Casablanca
5. Vertigo
6. Bande A Part
7. City Lights
8. His Girl Friday
9. The Good the Bad and the Ugly
10. The Seven Samurai
Top 10 Horror:
1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
2. Dressed to Kill
3. The Haunting
4. The Evil Dead
5. Profondo rosso
6. The Exorcist
7. The Thing
8. Psycho
9. Suspiria
10. The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Action:
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Hard-Boiled
3. Die Hard
4. The Seven Samurai
5. The Killer
6. Cheung fo (The Mission)
7. Drunken Master 2
8. The Road Warrior
9. The French Connection
10. The Great Escape
Unlame Chick Flicks:
1. Casablanca
2. Chunking Express
3. Amelie
4. Some Like it Hot
5. Harold and Maude
6. City Lights
7. The Philadelphia Story
8. All the Real Girls
9. An American in Paris
10. Lost in Translation
Top 5 French New Wave:
1. Breathless
2. The 400 Blows
3. Bande A part
4. Jules et Jim
5. Week End
Top 10 Real Badassery:
1. Point Blank
2. Le Samourai
3. Oldboy
4. The Great Escape
5. Yojimbo
6. Charley Varrick
7. Once Upon a Time in the West
8. From Russia With Love
9. Rififi
10. Hard Times
Top 5 Giallo:
1. The Bird with the Crystal Plummage
2. Suspiria
3. Deep Red
4. The House with Laughing Windows
5. Opera
Top 5 Italian Neo Realism
1. The Bicycle Thief
2. Umberto D
3. Stromboli
4. La Strada
5. Rome, Open City
5 Lame Chick Flicks that I May or May Not Like (For Greta):
1. When Harry Met Sally (Lame)
2. Moonstruck (Lame)
3. You've Got Mail (Lame)
4. Only You (Lame)
5. The Notebook or How we died at the same time for dramatic Effect (Lame)
1. Annie Hall
2. Die Hard
3. Singin' in the Rain
4. Casablanca
5. Vertigo
6. Bande A Part
7. City Lights
8. His Girl Friday
9. The Good the Bad and the Ugly
10. The Seven Samurai
Top 10 Horror:
1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
2. Dressed to Kill
3. The Haunting
4. The Evil Dead
5. Profondo rosso
6. The Exorcist
7. The Thing
8. Psycho
9. Suspiria
10. The Legend of Hell House (1973)
Action:
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Hard-Boiled
3. Die Hard
4. The Seven Samurai
5. The Killer
6. Cheung fo (The Mission)
7. Drunken Master 2
8. The Road Warrior
9. The French Connection
10. The Great Escape
Unlame Chick Flicks:
1. Casablanca
2. Chunking Express
3. Amelie
4. Some Like it Hot
5. Harold and Maude
6. City Lights
7. The Philadelphia Story
8. All the Real Girls
9. An American in Paris
10. Lost in Translation
Top 5 French New Wave:
1. Breathless
2. The 400 Blows
3. Bande A part
4. Jules et Jim
5. Week End
Top 10 Real Badassery:
1. Point Blank
2. Le Samourai
3. Oldboy
4. The Great Escape
5. Yojimbo
6. Charley Varrick
7. Once Upon a Time in the West
8. From Russia With Love
9. Rififi
10. Hard Times
Top 5 Giallo:
1. The Bird with the Crystal Plummage
2. Suspiria
3. Deep Red
4. The House with Laughing Windows
5. Opera
Top 5 Italian Neo Realism
1. The Bicycle Thief
2. Umberto D
3. Stromboli
4. La Strada
5. Rome, Open City
5 Lame Chick Flicks that I May or May Not Like (For Greta):
1. When Harry Met Sally (Lame)
2. Moonstruck (Lame)
3. You've Got Mail (Lame)
4. Only You (Lame)
5. The Notebook or How we died at the same time for dramatic Effect (Lame)
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