What I do get, however, is that we're both really into horror movies, and probably once or twice a week, we go downstairs to the horror lair. Armed with cereal + chocolate for me, and beer + Chinese food for Sherwin, we toss on a horror classic or movie we heard was really gory and get scared. We've already got some pretty crazy stories from our horror nights. Like the time we were watching Hostel and my nose started spontaneously bleeding during a torture scene, or how we watched Cold Prey (a Danish slasher movie) and when I told Todd Grabowsky he thought we were just making fun of an asian person trying to say they went to a Coldplay show, or how Sherwin watched Rogue (a B-movie about a giant crocodile) something like four times in a row one night because it was so good.
It's pretty sweet, and in terms of Horror genres, Shiloh has them all covered: Slasher, Classic Horror, Zombie, everything! It would be a great house for a slow-moving slasher-type movie because it's dark and has sharp corners and lots of little rooms. Actually that reminds me of the time me and Sherwin went to Tyson's AMC and watched the absolutely mind-numbingly terrible slasher-remake of Prom Night, and came out of the movie never wanting to see another movie again.
In terms of straight-up, Exorcist-type classic Horror the whole house is creaky and woodsy, and the downstairs smells like a recently-used fireplace (usually because Jon has recently used it) which instantly reminds me of Evil Dead every time I go down there. Which rules. The basement is pretty spacious but really dark when the lights are off--perfect for a horror movie--the kind of place you'd accidentally end up in while you were running barefoot through the woods from an Unknown Fear, only to be drawn into an end plot where a twist reveals that the Unknown Fear is, in reality, your own mind. You die a tragic death alone in the bathroom of the basement. Nail and teeth marks on the walls and floors indicate to the forensics team investigating the crime scene impossibly high levels of schitzophrenia, but they can't find a cause of death. It becomes a cold case at the Central Precinct and no one talks about it to this day.
But the best part is that I found THIS:
downstairs in the heart of the basement, right next to the washer and dryer. "What is that?" you might be asking. Well, it's a Zombie Hatchet. I'm a huge sucker for zombie movies, and I have to say that this discovery has not only made me extremely happy, but has also made me feel much more safe + secure, knowing that Jon, Sherwin, and I can successfully use the basement as a last stand against the zombie takeover, armed with Shiloh's old, partially-rusted-but-still-kinda-sharp zombie hatchet! I imagine us covered in zombie blood, all three of us struggling to keep the downstairs spare room door closed as countless undead push from the other side. As the window on the opposite side of the room is busted open, and a zombie's evil, pale, blood-spattered face recognizes food and with a shreak attempts to make his way in through the window, Sherwin takes the hatchet and with a triumphant "GYAAAAA!!!" brings the full force down on the zombie's head, destroying what's left of its rotted brain. More come after him. Swinging and hacking, it becomes clear that there are too many zombies to ward off, and as the movie fades to black the sound of "Ave Maria" is heard faintly over the snarling and growling. The fate of the residents of Shiloh--sealed forever in a tomb of wood and stone.
This house literally only gets cooler every day I'm in it.
I know what you mean Nathan, but after many disappointing moments where Sherwin remembered he had actually seen a movie I thought I had him on I finally got him last week with Park Chan-wook's "I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK."
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